Saturday, February 28, 2015

#51 "Learn What You Learned"


Reasons or
Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, SSF, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com






Special Report #51


Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series.




What Did You Learn That You Didn't Know You learned?




Ever hear the cliche, "Too close to the forest to see the trees"?


In the world of personal training, coaching, counseling, etc. we get requests to help people. That's what we do in the helping profession, isn't it! We help people achieve new levels of performance & success.


One of the things that we never know to consider if we aren't where we would rather be, is how we knew to get where we are. How did we know to have the thoughts and do the things which got us to a place where we would rather be someplace else?


Now, if we were raised in a test tube where there were no other people around, we might go around doing our best to behave like a test tube...just kidding.


The point being that we don't know what we don't know and often we don't know how we know what we do know. If we look at or presuppose that the way we think and behave are strategies (behaviors we learned before we even knew we were learning them), or in other words, ways of being in the world, we could also consider that we had to learn how to do life the way we do life. In other words, at least part of how we think and behave are things we learned from those who were most influential to us before we even knew that we were learning these ways.


Sometimes, when people are living the way they learned to live but they want to get different results from the way they are living will produce, they take a look at the idea of, "How did I learn this?" "What came before this?"


Another way of looking at it would be to ask, if we were going to train someone to get the same results you have gotten in your life, what would we have to teach them? What strategies, skills, thoughts, behaviors, viewpoints, etc., would we have to teach them in order for them to get to the same place in life as you have?


Now, of course this is all theoretical, because why would we do that? But seriously, we know that if we want success in an area of life, say education or career, we can find out what another person did to get where they are and then its reasonable to say that if we copy the majority of the things the successful person did, its likely we'll get similar results, e.g. want to be a doctor?, go to medical school...it doesn't matter which medical school, pick one!


Reasonably enough, the same situation applies with fitness, wellness and losing weight (the science of burning fat). IF we wanted to train a person to gain weight, first we would have to get them to eat more nutritionally-empty foods so the more they ate the more they crave (SADCRAP), do less activity and repeat the process enough that they started gaining about a half pound of fat per month.

The earlier we could get them to start this, the more likely we would be successful at making them live a fat lifestyle.


If we really wanted to help ensure this kind of success, we would make sure that either their peers demonstrated the fat lifestyle or withheld emotional nurturing or instill the idea that eating SADCRAP makes you feel happy on the inside, especially when the world on the outside doesn't seem like such a happy place.


Are you getting the idea?


If we wanted to compound the effect on this imaginary person, you could have people be in the vicinity of the child, who are emotionally absent, neglectful or even outright abusive...in either case, just when the child feels the least self worth and self esteem, give them some SADCRAP and then give them emotional reassurance that they are now good or OK...we have now reenforced the idea that when things are not fun and happy, we can at least feel full and content on the inside (an emotional crutch, a.k.a. food s my friend).


Can you see what is happening here? Kind of sinister, huh!


What I'm talking about is layers upon layers of conditioning, (some coincidental and some unintentional), which regardless has the same affects on the physiology of the body.


Now, if you really wanted to mess this imaginary person up, you know mess with their sense of security, trust, hope, faith, etc. (their sense that things are going to be OK), we would give them a sense that everything is OK and then when they have settled into a routine, upset the apple cart, so to speak...take away or disrupt the thing that represented safety & security to them, whether a parent leaving, loss of a pet, loss of a friend or even a personal belonging or favorite item.

Then , to "cheer them up", just when the feeling bad is at a peak, offer SADCRAP as a substitution for the emotional loss.


Sound familiar at all? What we're talking about is how people get to a place in life where they need to lose weight, even their life may depend on it, yet they can't seem to simply do the program that has been designed for them.


Even worse? Well, if our imaginary parent of the child is kind of checked out, you know not very present, but then gives positive attention once the child accepts the SADCRAP...guess what, the food has just become a surrogate for the parent's love, attention and approval.

Crazy right? The parent doesn't know how or isn't comfortable giving affection, but gives attention through SADCRAP.


This story is a group of experiences many weight loss clients have shared. Not all people have all of these and some people have even more scenarios happen which have compounded and confounded some of the most seasoned personal trainers.


The point being that its common for the drivers of a fat lifestyle happen outside conscious awareness. That's where cognitive counseling, talk therapy, hypnosis and modalities of that nature can help a person a lot. Its not always necessary to sort through the past and analyze every detail of your life to simply get on the fast track to fat loss success, but sometimes it is helpful to figure out what is driving behavior that seems to have a mind of its own.


Its not uncommon for behaviors we're doing to seem so common place that we wouldn't otherwise consider habits we have been doing as long as we can remember to be sabotaging our efforts in a particular area of focus. For me, I had suffered with what I would consider sever sore throats all through childhood. It wasn't until I was in junior high that I realized that excessive sugar (M&Ms for breakfast) was causing my sore throats...the more I ate the more sore my throat got.


If we wanted to yet compound the emotional eating habits another level, we would expose the child to stress, trauma or abuse...you know to the point that they either felt shame or were hurt by a peer and then shamed for it...then offered SADCRAP as a consolation...the meaning of the nutrient-poor food would now take on the role of shame suppressor.

I  know, crazy, right? To stop the SADCRAP and get active one would have to give up their emotional surrogate support system, give up their "friend" as well as the substance which has enabled the shame to remain suppressed. I know, not everyone has shame related to being fat, but it is common and replace any emotion for the "shame" spot and you get the idea....a multi-layered puzzle / maze or perceptions, sensations mis-communications and mis-understandings which enable the fat-lifestyle.


The whole point of this demonstration of the imaginary child we are training to be fat is that sometimes the habits which we defend as "our way of being in the world" were not necessarily our fully chosen way of being...we didn't know what we had learned...we learned it before we knew what we were learning....we didn't provide full consent.

The net result is that once offered what seems to be such a clear way of finally losing the weight and keeping it off (hiring a personal trainer, a diet, a weight loss program, etc.) the old programming blocks our ability to see what s right in front of us. We can't stop doing the fat lifestyle for a moment long enough to let the health building program kick in. We can't see outside of the way we learned to be since we're filtering any new, more healthful way to the old surrogate ways we were taught to cope with the world...its a big part of our identity.


So, the simplistic take-away here, is if you find yourself struggling to establish a new, fit healthy lifestyle (new habits take about 21 days of correct action to establish, feel more "normal" than the old, unhealthy ways and take hold), you might try thinking about what you were taught or learned along the way which may have been unintentional but then took on a life of its own.


I'm not suggesting taking a timeout or suspending your resistance training, cardio nor nutrition program...I am talking about during the process of "doing" your program, think about how it came to be that the way you were living developed into an unfit-lifestyle...how did you know to do that? People don't do behaviors without learning how to do them per se...How did you know how to be unfit?


Ultimately, the cycle of consuming SADCRAP and then craving even more relates to the absence of adequate nutrition in the brain. The more SADCRAP you eat, the more nutrients get used up trying to process the stuff out of the body. Until you have enough BNBBs in your system, the cravings for SADCRAP will not stop and you won't be able to will-power your way out of it...hence, yo-yo dieting.










#50: "Saying or Doing?"



Reasons or
Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, SSF, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com






Special Report #50


Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series.


Are You Saying or Doing?


As you've read in previous blurbs, when it comes to fat loss, part of the reason people often have such a difficult time adapting to a fit lifestyle is that they habitually tell themselves things which aren't true but at the same time they tell themselves these things (examples in a moment) they insist that these "things" are true, which prevents them from benefiting from the properly designed fat-burning resistance training, fat-burning cardio and applied nutrition (foundation of whole foods + functional-foods + sensible use of quality dietary supplements).


Remember that the best program in the world won't help if the you are distracting yourself, or doing thoughts and behavior programs which interfere with what is already proven to work...in other words, the program works but you aren't working the program and you certainly aren't allowing the program to work for you!
 
One of the most peculiar phenomena trainers observe is when the client  insists they want the best the trainer has to offer, plunks down the big bucks to show commitment to getting their program together, but then doesn't follow through with their homework (generally fat-burning cardiovascular training & nutrition outside the resistance training session), but then returns for their next training session complaining they aren't burning fat fast enough...if they show up for their training sessions at all.


You see, the most effectively designed fat-burning programs include resistance training (to build lean mass: basis of fat burning metabolism), fat-burning cardio (burns fat fast; by utilizing the fat burning energy system of the body) and nutrition (80% of the results you get or miss out on related to the quality & timing of your nutrition).


In other words, we absolutely, without question, without exception, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely know what works (how to burn 20 pounds of fat per month and maintain it indefinitely). Yet, the self talk people who have been unsuccessful at either burning fat or maintaining any fat loss often consists mainly of why they are 1) an exception to the laws of nature, 2) why their past attempts mean the trainer certainly won't understand "their" situation 3) why they can't do what the trainer says needs to be done 4) unlimited variations of excuses and stories as to why the reason they can't lose weight is because their situation is so different that no one can understand it...and that's why they can't lose weight!?



Do you hear that distinction there? If someone tells themselves that "such-and-such means such-and -such" and so on, they have made up meanings to things in their head which inhibit their ability to move! (analysis paralysis). When this process is going on they simply aren't going to be able to carry out productive behaviors to reach their goals, since they have given themselves so many "reasons" why they can't. Outside influence (personal trainer, family, friends, spouse, etc.), even if they have asked for it, even if they have paid for it, even if they insist its what they want more than anything else in the world isn't going to happen since it conflicts with what they keep repeatedly saying to themselves...words have power over the body (information transduction).


One of the most common things / patterns you'll hear the people who are stuck in this way is, "I'm just saying..." And whatever comes after that is complete self sabotaging self talk, but since they insist on saying it over and over, in their mind they believe its true!  (superstition).

And they'll come up with unlimited reasons why they have "reasons" they can't do something. The next things after saying, "Yay, but what I'm saying is..." (demonstrating that they think repeating something makes it true) (and that repeating something: "Yay, but what I'm saying is.." makes it real to them {saying is not doing}[even though the people on the outside / around them can see it isn't real / that what they are telling themselves is different than what is really happening]).


In essence, people who keep saying, "Yay, but what I'm saying is..." are really saying:


"If I hire a trainer their job is to tell me I'm right."


"What I think and what I insist on you hearing from me is more important than what's in my best interest."


"I want to feel good in the moment by hearing myself talk, vent, dump and that's more important than my health."


"I cannot be told I'm wrong and in fact if someone correctly tells me I'm wrong I avoid them like the plague...because they are wrong for telling me I'm wrong."

"My story is more important than reaching m goals."
 
"I cannot be told I am wrong...no matter what,... even if I'm mistaken in my thinking and my thinking will derail my efforts, I do not want to be told I'm wrong...I would rather not get my goal, then to be told my thinking is off." 


"I think going to church is right, but if the church is telling me I'm mistaken in my thinking then I look for another church (which have done dozens of times)...because I would rather be unhealthy than told I am wrong. I must feel I'm right even when I'm wrong... in fact I'll only go to counselors who tell me I'm right. If I'm paying a counselor they better tell me I'm right or I'll find another counselor who will tell me I'm right. I cannot be wrong even if I am wrong."


In these examples, the client is stating the very statements which are inhibiting their progress, regardless of how well designed a fat loss program is. Until the client consistently "checks" their self talk, the likelihood of long term success is unlikely.











Thursday, February 26, 2015

#49 B2 or 2B ?

Reasons or

Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, SSF, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com






Special Report #49


Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series.
B2 or 2B?



What you don't get might be better than getting what you do want...
 
Back in 1989 or so, I applied for and was accepted into a job training program at Lake Washington VocTech, in Kirkland, Washington for Boeing on the B2 Stealth Program. It was an 8 week program, 6-8 hours / day / no pay, but high likelihood of being hired if you perform well in class. I was working as a horse vet tech at the time so it was a full schedule. I attended all the classes, was on time every time and did really well. 
 
Some students seemed to be "on probation" for one thing or another the whole time. Some students wouldn't come back after lunch, some missed classes and so forth. The instructor had been a Department of Defense Instructor his whole career and this would be his last class before retiring. 
 
I was very quiet and introverted at that time and just did what I was shown. We were bonding titanium and a composite material. But through the whole class the instructor kept saying how we would be doing "different" stuff once hired...using different materials. So what we were doing was very important to the training on such a hush-hush program, but we wouldn't be doing quite what we were doing in class?
 
The final day of the class the instructor was encouraging questions and I finally worked up the courage to ask, "How come we're spending eight weeks using materials we won't use once hired?" 
 
The instructor sort of just grumbled and walked away. I went through the whole interview process and didn't hear anything back. Some weeks later I ran into a group of seven or eight guys from the class (there were about 40 in the class), at Gold's Gym Kirkland. 
 
They asked, "Where you been?...everyone was hired... Where ya' workin'?" Apparently everyone was hired except me. As the years went by I interviewed with Boeing for a couple other jobs. Every four or five  years, whenever I would run into someone who had worked at Boeing I would tell them this story and they would say something like, "Hmmm!
 
Occasionally I would run into someone who had experience with that plane and they would tell me you can't touch that plane because it's so toxic...if you touch it you get cancer.  I would think, "Well that can't be right, I worked on that stuff and we had to handle the material... they probably just tell people that to prevent them from touching the plane."

In 2013 (some 24 years later?) I ran into a Boeing engineer while selling guns at a sporting goods store in Seattle and told him the story. 
 
For me, I was just curious, "What happened?...did my question the last day of class really get me deleted from the program?" 
 
Well, this last time was different. This engineer had been on that program and knew of the group I had gone to school with. His reply? 
 
He said, "Oh, you can be glad you didn't get hired... All those guys died... the material they were working with were so toxic they all got really weird cancer(s) and died... but in order to be hired they had to sign a non-disclosure that they couldn't talk about any of it...you are probably the only guy from that class who isn't dead." 
 
He said the materials were SO toxic that each of the individual ingredients were so toxic that they pretty much start killing a person as soon as they come into contact with them. Each chemical was deadly toxic by themselves, but in combination the danger level was off the charts. 
 
After two decades, I got the answer I was looking for... I did miss out on the crazy wages those guys earned, but I had been alive the whole time with really good health long after the program was over.


What you don't get might be better than getting what you do want.
 
And it might take a really long time to find out why you didn't get what you thought you wanted.