#32: What's Your Real Why?

Reasons or

Results! 

Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine

SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647

email: sovereignmv@gmail.com

web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com

Special Report #32

Part of the

“I see you to succeeding"

series

What's Your Real "Why"?

So, in previous blurbs I've talked about what it really takes to get healthy, get lean once and for all and how to sustain / maintain it or even improve with time, regardless of your age.

Experienced personal trainers know which parts of applied nutrition and exercise really matter and are worthwhile (internal success factors), and which things are fads and bogus (environmental failure factors), in order to extract more and more money from the public who continue to not reach their goals, like low calorie diets, stimulant based supplements or even hormonal products like HcG, 

(There's a hell of a lot more money made from people losing fat, then regaining it and repeating than from people getting lean & healthy once and for all). The bean counters at gyms love it when people don't reach their goals! It's good fer business! 

The flip side of the "3-sided coin", if you will is that there is more money made from junk food (SADCRAP) and low quality supplements than high quality whole food and nutrient dense supplements (the billion dollar business of enabling the public to get and stay un-healthy). 

So we know that in recent history, there are manipulative outside influences which constantly bombard the public with messages that it's okay to eat SADCRAP "this one time" (you deserve goodies and comfort food), [knowing full well people get addicted to SADCRAP within a single serving] that you "should" love yourself how you are (permission to be less than your best) [not the same self love as honoring your spirit] as well as the message that being skinny is better (a mixed message designed to create confusion, guilt and negative self talk for which relief will come through consumption of comfort food -SADCRAP)...in other words, a perfectly engineered, chemical & emotional, mind & emotional f-over. (Misspell on purpose).

We know that the worse people feel about themselves the more sh*t-food they eat! And the worse they feel the more they eat but the less physical and emotional energy they have to exercise (so called depression & lack of motivation). And the more depressed people are the more they want "comfort" food...a downward spiral. 

Anytime someone wants to get on a healthier path to a lean & healthy lifestyle they are literally competing with thousands and thousands of hours of messages that have programmed the psyche for thoughts, behaviors and emotions which support a fat lifestyle (body composition of 20% or more)...but which is then referred to as "free will" and autonomy.

If you give a child sugar and they get digestive problems like I did, are they exercising free will? If that child grows into an adult with health problems are they  still exercising free will?

The point being whether or not someone knows what is happening, or what they are agreeing to...[informed consent].

Yes, I said "programmed". With thousands of hours of formal training in the application of clinical hypnosis I think I'm more than qualified to notice hypnotic programming. In America we call it capitalism. I'm all for capitalism... as long as it helps and contributes to something more than lining the pockets of the capitalists and their families at the expense of consumers.

But, as if those mixed messages weren't deep enough, throw in "You deserve to feel good in the moment," "You shouldn't have to go without," "You deserve a break today," "You can't eat just one," and /or "You don't want to miss out," "You're going to miss out on the real fun if you don't party on the weekends," and you have a recipe for health disaster unlike this nation has ever seen as a result of the side effects and complications of having too high percentage of body fat (20% or higher) [e.g. diabetes, heart dis-ease, insulin resistance, Syndrome-X, metabolic disorders, etc.]

So what's the point, Sov?

The point being that people start "weight loss" programs for many reasons they tell themselves and their friends and their trainers and so on... It's called rationalizing behaviors rooted in desire to appear healthy to others.

But until you get to your core "Why?" which underlies all the rationalizing of the behaviors that got you fat, your fat loss will neither be successful nor maintainable. Until you get to the "Why?" that feeds your spirit...the "Why?" that unleashes your spirit unto the world, all the junk food and unhealthy programming and accompanying malnutrition will always win and progress will be inconsistent to say the least followed by additional weight gain. 

Until you uncover your real "Why?" you'll be prone to finding every little reason why you shouldn't continue or why the exercise program interferes with your unfit lifestyle or why the supplements don't meet your expectations or why your trainer isn't doing enough for you or how much you're missing out on by being healthy or why you feel punished for not indulging in the fat lifestyle which makes you more and more fat and malnourished with each day that passes ...(all external reasons to procrastinate and not follow through / external arguments for external "Why's"). See the pattern? 

When you get to your core "Why?" you simply won't have any rationale for not following through! ...it's indisputable to your spirit! 

Here's some examples of superficial "Whys?" that never provide enough fuel to maintain success:

"So I can wear skinny clothes".

"For my kids."

"For health reasons."

"My doctor told me I have to."

See / hear the pattern? They are all good reasons in their own way. All good reasons that an amateur trainer might not dispute, but often disconnected from the person's spirit...a.k.a. disassociation... Junk food and lack of nutrition disassociates a person from their own values and sensibility of spirit!

The above examples are all related to external motivations / external "Whys". Either in the form of trying to please others, avoid a potential perceived loss, perceived peer pressure or from attempting to fabricate a personal motivation which lacks high integrity, spirit connected drive and will-power. 

Until one locks onto the "Why" which is connected to releasing their spirit every other motivation comes from the outside vs coming from within.

You see people succeed on many types of programs as long as they get the nutrition density and exercise parts correct...AS LONG AS THEIR SPIRIT IS PRESENT & INVESTED !!

The challenge or inherent conflict in beginning a honest, integrity-based lean lifestyle, seeing it through and maintaining the course regardless what life throws at you is that often "getting fat"comes from an unhealthy form of taking care of others whether they are your children, relatives, spouse or even strangers' feelings! 

Getting healthy, lean and staying that way is a kind of selfish act, but by doing so you're demonstrating to others how to get healthy themselves! Hmmmm, is there something to helping others by helping yourself? Oh, too deep Sov, stop! 

In other words, it's more cool to show people how to fish than to just give them a fish! Saying you aren't healthy because you're too busy taking care of others is an unhealthy kind of selfishness, since it demonstrates being unhealthy to those you say you care for the most!

Trainers who have been in the game long enough, especially the ones who overcome  their own superficial "Whys?" And gotten down to their real "Why?" recognize this paradox and know that the superficial reasons are enough for the client to "get started" but not enough to see it through and maintain it...yo-yo dieting.

The harsh reality is that in the 20+ years I've been doing this, I've noticed a pattern that it takes a good 3 months MINIMUM to begin to become conscious of your own real "Why?".

BUT, without solid nutrition density and an effective, focused exercise program, general "activity" results in either no fat loss, fat gain or even injury...they don't make it to that magical 3 month mark...and the beat goes on. 

Becoming conscious enough to recognize your spirit telling you the real reason why you want to get lean and healthy once and for all requires moving out of emotional based motivation habits (high nutrition density, less SADCRAP). 

HINT: How to know if its a genuine "Why?", is whether or not you follow through, stick to the plan and resist temptation to either skip your workouts or partake in SADCRAP for immediate satisfaction, yet compromising your primary goal. 

But for people who are so malnourished they are no longer able to comprehend the importance of nutrition density, the likelihood of success is slim to none (represented in the stats on diabetes, heart dis-ease, and all the popular de-generative dis-eases). 

Yes, I'm saying it's too late for people who won't simply do the nutrition and exercise fundamentals consistently enough to realize it on their own. That doesn't even take into account the children raised in homes where junk food is considered a "reward" and where problems with the body systems are showing up at younger and younger ages. Sad. I was one of those kids and had the digestive problems, allergies and constant colds and bugs to show for it. 

The point being that the first 3 months are critical in your program. You have to stick with a program (go on faith) long enough for your own body to respond to the nutrition and exercise. Once the benefits of increased strength, mental clarity, fat loss and definition kick in prioritizing nutrition and exercise become effortless... "The machine drives itself", but you have to get yourself to overcome the inertia that SADCRAP creates.

In reality, if you have a good exercise program based on burning fat and improving lean mass,as well as a solid nutritional plan, you should begin noticing positive changes within 3 days of beginning. (The longer it takes to notice visual improvement the further off track your exercise and nutrition program is.)

Oh yay, my "Whys?"... I wanted to move away from suffering with mediocre health (digestive problems, allergies, and being sick all the time), and move toward a fitness based lifestyle...I didn't want to end up where I had seen most of my family end up...I wanted to feel really good, clean and confident in my own skin. I was tired of feeling weak and self conscious.

For me, a big part of my success was switching from cheap supplements to ones that I actually notice getting healthier from (improved body composition and healthy blood chemistry) 

[Don't want to check those two thing? Never mind you aren't ready.] 

...digestive problems? They went away! Reducing SADCRAP? Of course! Learning about food? Of course! Learning about exercise vs activity? Of course! Discerning marketing hype and fads from science? Of course! Was it a fast process? No! Did I make consistent progress? YES! And you can too! 

A great first step is to get some good nutrition in your body:

https://bnbbs.myshaklee.com/us/en/shop/healthyfoundations/essentialsvitaminsandminerals/product-_p_vitalizer_p_

I see you succeeding!

#31: Right Use Of Energy: Part 1

Reasons or

Results! 

Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine

SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647

email: sovereignmv@gmail.com

web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com

Special Report #31

Part of the

“I see you to succeeding"

series

Right Use of Energy


Part I

Want to get more of what you want from YOUR life with less effort? 

This particular blurb has taken me over 40 years to put into words. I think it will be quite enlightening for those who have had the experience that what they want and wish for seems to be "just out of reach"...and always has. 

Now, have patience here, because some of the words to describe this come from different belief systems (Buddhism, Christianity, and other esoteric talk and even healing models). Not because I'm trying to recruit you into my local church, but because I don't have any other words yet to describe subtle but powerful phenomena we all experience.

In other words, from my earliest memories, (for a number of reasons you'll learn later) I could and would see phenomena and behaviorism and traits in myself and those around me, but when I would try to explain to those around me what I was seeing and hearing I'd get a, "Huh?"

Yet the people who said, "Huh?" would be experiencing those very phenomena and at a loss of how to circumvent their seeming sentence of poverty and unhappiness. 

But here's the thing, especially over the last couple decades of working directly with people who want to improve themselves...their health...their situation, etc. 

This is it in a "nutshell". (And again, I don't know everything.) I think as humble teachers we're often only one step ahead of our best students...and if we get out of the way, our students surpass us! But through teaching we learn more than we did in the beginning of teaching the topic, right? Teachers teach in order to learn. And the process continues. So if this helps, great. 

For lack of better terms, we have a certain amount of energy to use to get what we want from life, -a certain amount of energy for each day's goals and aspirations. 

  Ultimately there's no limit to what we can have, but we tend to unconsciously limit ourselves (for and because many reasons beyond Part I here). 

In my experience of observing so far, I have noticed a pattern that much of the habits we utilize to get what we want we're learned before we knew we were learning! (Ages approximately birth-7).

Now, to get to the punch-line quick, that means people who were raised and nurtured in a can-do, positive, success oriented, "you-can-do-it" culture find getting what they want easier since they experienced first-hand a model for it from the beginning of life...a culture of being at peace with "having & being". They were given love and energy without strings attached. They learn to receive energy from nature..not from attempting to derive it from others around them nor tricking others into giving it to them. 

We've all experienced the seemingly harmless people who seem to engage us in random chatter or topic yet leave us feeling tired and depleted... you know the ones. 

On the other hand, some people were raised in a familiar, conditional-love environment...a lineage if you will...where the components and skills of "having and getting" were missing. Maybe even mixed messages...(you can have whatever you want...but not too much). Or, "You can have whatever you want but not more than us."

Ultimately, confusion about our "role" or lack of clarity within our own life enables us to always be reaching yet the achievement seems to always be "in the future" (deficiency of personal energy).

SO, (one of) the common intrapersonal faux pas is when we learned to use our "energy" one way, but in order to get what we want another way...as if the two are separate. 

In other words, there may have been an imbalance or mixed message or even a misunderstanding within the self somewhere along the way  which led to the person feeling as though their energy was to be used for things other than the health and wellness of their own body, mind, spirit,...fulfillment. 

An example of this would be if we weren't given unconditional acceptance or nurturing by our immediate peers or care providers, but were then utilized to take responsibility for how our peers felt ...("their" state of emotional and mental awareness) (co-dependency). In other words, the natural laws are that parents provide care, love and nurturing and by receiving that, we have a model of the healthiness of nurturing offspring. The opposite or unnatural model would be the care providers not taking care of themselves...feeling depleted, defeated and depressed and then relying on their children for emotional energy (as an unnatural emotional "boost").

In other words, the child is using their energy attempting to make the parent feel better. BUT, in reality, it's not natural or healthy nor sustainable for a child to be nurturing their parent that way. The next step in the sequence is that whenever the parent "acts out" by demonstrating a less than optimal emotional state, or behaving disapproving of the child's inherent happiness, the child "gives" some of their energy to their parent in hopes of being loved in return (soothe the giant). A classic under-functioning / over-functioning pattern. In essence, the more the parent withholds love and attention from the child, the more energy the child gives to the parent ...ultimately creating a dynamic where the child gives more and more and the parent takes more and more, but the child ends up more and more depleted unable to manifest what they want and need in life...classic depletion.  The underlying (meta-message) is that it's the child's job to fix the parent... it's their role in the family (codependency)..their "job" if you will to soothe the parent, attending to their emotional needs. 

As time goes on, the child has less and less energy reserve and ends up depleted ...(one of the main underlying strategies in fatigue-based illness including obesity and food-based addiction.) [trying to feel full on the inside without consciousness of the unfair energy dynamic from the beginning of life]. 

This pattern is compounded by parents who withhold love and approval, suppress the child's expression and then substitute emotional presence with junk food rewards or simply too much food. 

Children who are raised in this dynamic unconsciously learn (way before they are conscious of what they have learned), that they should give all their energy away...but this unconscious habit precedes mistakenly thinking that they are supposed to find "other" people to give them energy.

We probably all have experienced being around people who we feel tired from (energy is being pulled without an agreement or healthy, mutual exchange). These scenarios inherently are referred to as energy vampires, energy suckers or time gremlins. 

Part of the reason being that some people never learned that 1) natural energy reserve comes from letting go the past, 2) being present, 3) letting go of stress and emotions rather than holding onto them, 4) receiving energy from nature itself and 5) ultimately that we can't fix people's feelings by pouring our energy into them...they have to do it themselves...

They have to take care of themselves from the inside out...it's a form of emotional and energetic hygiene. 

The body, mind and emotions works best when we:

1) Experience emotions to enhance each experience but we neither own emotions nor hold them to recycle them, nor suppress them (avoid playing victim or martyr role),

2) We receive energy through interaction with nature (being outside in nature some of the time),

3) We exchange positive energy and emotions with those who it's appropriate vs "pulling" energy from them without giving positive energy in return (presupposition that others are here to serve us, or that we are entitled to others' energy from having been used to serve our own loved ones and role models...misuse),

4) Regardless of whether an experience is positive or not, a) get through the experience and release it, b) take the lesson, c) forgive those who hurt us, (resentment and anger prisons deplete the life force of the person remembering the hurt, not the doer of the hurt), d) forgive ourselves for our unwitting participation, (beating up on self depletes energy and blocks new energy from coming in),  e) ask for forgiveness (disengage from energy sapping control habits),

5) Re-attach our goal onto what we consider goals in a bright future (look forward to a bright future) and

6) Demonstrate gratitude for the little blessings we have (attracts more of what we want and need to have healthy energy exchange). 

For those who were raised this way, they naturally avoid energy vampires and participate in relations that are energetically cooperative and mutual.  For those who learn it later in life, they notice feeling better with age as they gain energy naturally, get in relationships with natural energy boundaries and invest their energy in activities and work and hobbies and relations which build their own energy field rather than depleting it and injuring it, leaving it full of holes and vulnerabilities.

In other words, through self knowledge and paying attention, they interrupt the cycle of "taking energy" and expecting to feel good and healthy. 

You see "nature abhors a vacuum". If you let go of pains, forgive those who hurt you, forgive yourself for your participation (even if you were the victim), ask for forgiveness (no one is perfect) and demonstrate gratitude, you'll naturally dispose of negativity and attract healthy energy naturally for which will naturally be delegated to manifest what you want in your life.

Nature tends to fill the deficit left by letting go the past pain with healthy, vibrant health both physical, mental and emotional and even spiritual refreshment.

What this does is get our energy detached from feeding past hurts, (which are dead horses), negativity and negative people and reattaches it to natural, proper, appropriate energetic boundaries where there is a healthy exchange of energy versus the scenario of thinking that in order for others to love us, they have to give us / sacrifice their life force (there's plenty for everyone without taking it from others). 

Dysfunctional energy use creates a lineage of exhausted people who give their energy away faster than they can rejuvenate but they feel depleted, chronically unhappy and depressed and uninspired...always feeling like  they are outside the loop of their own life (often referred to as trolls or hobbits behind their back), yet self-declared as gods or goddesses: since they feel powerless, awkward in their own body, unnatural in social settings, they mistakenly conclude they are "above it all" and end up co-miserating with others who are mistakenly mis-using their energy field, denying it, avoiding the truth of the matter and simultaneously concluding they are a select group of higher learnings, when in reality they have created a social circle of like minded people who also suck energy in unnatural ways...black holes...yet engage unwitting participants in conversation designed to steal...yes, energy. 

Chronic health problems and being fat (body composition greater than 20%) are direct manifestation of giving more than you have (lack of self care) in attempt to get others to give energy to you for no reason. As long as energy is being given out without natural rejuvenation, excess calories will be consumed in attempt to fill the feeling of emptiness, yet lack of motivation and drive to exercise properly will prevail...body composition of 20% or more. 

Nutrition is one way to increase the natural energy reserve without the decades long learning curve. 

For free, no obligation and 100% guaranteed satisfaction of information of what supplements I take, check out one of my websites:

http://bnbbs.myshaklee.com

Do it now, do it consistently! 

"I see you succeeding"

#30: Dis or Dat?

Reasons or

Results! 

Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine

SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647

email: sovereignmv@gmail.com

web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com

Special Report #30

Part of the

“I see you to succeeding"

series

Dis or Dat?

Conflicted?

Not sure why you aren't getting the results you want as fast as you wanted?

Why it seems like you're putting out energy but not getting results? 

One of the greatest perceived barriers to success is the space in between [where you are beginning] from and [where you say you want to go]. 

What this looks like in real time is someone who insists they want results, puts out the big bucks for training and supplies but doesn't stop doing the things that got them where they [don't] want to be.

In the psychotherapy world this can be referred to as [inner-conflict]... meaning the person hasn't made up their mind to let go of what they WERE getting in exchange for what they say they want to get [now]. This ties into the idea of "lifestyle". e.g. If I want to stop doing a habit, how likely is my success if I surround myself with people who are also doing the habit I want to stop?... the people who supported me in getting where I didn't want to be.

If I want to burn fat, how likely am I to get lean if all my friends eat and live in fat ways?...if my family eats unhealthily and avoids structured exercise.

It's the classic scenario where children who hang out with delinquent children may begin to notice the way they think and behave acclimated to the lower level of expectations within the group (peer influence).

Now, that doesn't mean you suddenly "throw away" your friends and family who don't participate or have the same new insights or interests as you...

Neither does it mean it's others' fault you didn't succeed...it means you have to act maturely and [step up on your own behalf]. It simply means begin expanding your circle to include people who are already successful at what you want for your self...or at the very least new people who have the same goals as you (support system). 

What trainers, coaches, teachers, etc., see with people who struggle to adopt the lifestyle they are driving for is if the [student perceives they are going to lose something] by improving themselves or reaching their goal, they will struggle to take in and integrate the very information they say they want, since the new information is being filtered through the previously agreed upon (even if unspoken agreement) group-mindset...

(If something potentially is perceived to threaten the rapport of the group, the new information is rejected before it's even considered).

And again, even if the new information is good and healthy for you; if it conflicts with the spoken and unspoken values of your social group, you'll have to make the decision to risk disapproval in order to get the  results of the new information.

I have seen both intentional and unintentional interference for people who want to get lean and healthy. An example of intentional-sabotage is when someone (often a spouse or other family member) fears losing the person who has decided to improve themselves so they go about emotionally disrupting their partner's efforts to improve them-self.

(Goals and aspirations require a portion of our daily allowance of emotional saving account).

 

This can happen by emotional outbursts, seeming neediness, or through unspoken punishment as a means of distracting the person from being able to put enough emotional energy into their current goals. 

Indirect forms of sabotage include but are not limited to demanding the "mom" of the family continue to cook the SADCRAP diet while mom is trying her best to stick to her healthy program. 

Or, it could come in the form of subtle comments that love and acceptance are [conditional on staying] like the "old you" will get withheld if the person striving for improvement reaches their goals. Sometimes the sabotage is indirect and unintentional (rooted in misunderstanding or lack if sensitivity or perceived fear if loss), where mom cooks for all the kids but once one child decides to strive for new levels of health, mom continues to cook and offer the unhealthy choices and refuses to cook the healthy choices...it's easier.  

(Not that it is mom's job to cook, nor that the matriarch is the only negative influence) for the child, but that if the cooking is in the name of love, then find out what love and support means in the new, healthier context; if it really is about love, the healthier version of love is healthier!

Sometimes we make friends and have social circles that involve co-miserating, but once we mature out of complaining and move onto pro-actively improving ourselves, the rest of the group or relationship might not be ready to adopt a healthy lifestyle. In this case, we have to have a certain amount of time where we take care of ourselves (exercise and nutrition), in which time is just for us, in order to make up for the other hours which don't support our new self.

The best way I know to proactively cushion the blow of change to your social circle is to verbally assure your group, family, etc., that you love them, are still there but that you are going to live differently...This assures them that you (a component of THEIR support circle) is still there...just differently.

In healthy, aware friends and family, everyone gets excited and many even acknowledge to participate. In unhealthy (co-dependent) [attending to what is good for others more than yourself] circles of influence, the strength of the group is based on everyone staying weakened and under-functioning in order to keep the group united... the unhealthier each person is the stronger the group is...each person enables the others to NOT take care of themselves... so no individual can get healthier without the rest if the group disapproving.

You can see how UN-empowering this can be for the person who has decided to live healthier (peer pressure). 

If you find yourself blaming others, that means you haven't taken control of your own power nor retained your power...the blame game.

If you find that others really are interfering with your progress, it points to the idea you had previously relied on those people for comfort and support but you have matured beyond being unhappy or unsatisfied with your current status quo. Not everyone wants to get healthy in the same timing.

(If there are addiction type factors involved, this can complicate your ability to free yourself from the unhealthy cycle because addiction requires participation by the 1) addict 2) the people who enable the addiction and 3) and the non-willing participants of the fallout of the addiction (children or spouse).

Since getting free of addiction and co-dependency (taking care of others' feelings before taking care of your own) requires acknowledging what is actually going on, the odds of the addict getting clean and emotionally healthy / present in order to help you is unlikely or rare to say the least...either way, it's up to you to create a circle of influence (friends, workout partners, support groups, church, counselor, etc.) which supports your new healthier version...without a positive circle of influence, long-term, sustainable success is unlikely.

PART of the reason a fit lifestyle seems easier for some than others relates to how we're raised. No matter the arena (finance, business, education, relationships), if we are raised in a family that is supportive of an interest (or even better sets good models) we have the advantage before we even begin. If we aren't, we have to get the information from the people who do have the information (it takes a village to raise a child).

Today, with 80% of the population having too much fat, I think it's safe to say we have more models for being unhealthy than healthy...so seek out the information you need...it's not a secret!

For more information on solid nutrition programs, go here:

https://bnbbs.myshaklee.com/us/en/shop/healthyfoundations/essentialsvitaminsandminerals/product-_p_vitalizer_p_

Do it now, do it consistently!

"I see you succeeding"