#120: "Poooooor Me"

                                                                          Reasons or

Results! 

Fitness Nutrition Training

Sovereign Michael Valentine

SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

206.225.9647

email: sovereignmv@gmail.com

web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com

Special Report #120

Part of the

“I see you to succeeding"

series

"Poooooor Me"

...a.k.a. "Whoa-is-me"

Any personal trainer worth their weight is going to incorporate the mental, emotional and psychological aspects into whatever [nutritional & exercise] strategies they have developed for you, as well as hold you accountable to them. The reason being that the science and art of burning fat comes down to nutrition (80%) and properly designed exercise (20%), ...its strictly a doing thing...but inevitably, the mental, emotional and psychological aspects have to be addressed for any change (improvement) to be sustained in the future.

As well-seasoned personal trainers, we are frequently approached by people who insist that they know "the" single reason why they haven't successfully lost weight before and they go about telling the trainer all "their" reasons why and that "Now is the time...this is the year". Gyms know this and enable it since they make more money from people joining, quitting and rejoining than simply reaching their goals...its good for business! But now you know. 


 The reason is always the same...the client didn't know what to do. I guess what hasn't occurred to people who approach trainers or join gyms is that we've heard all the reasons why before, (which the client insists is unique to them) from every other person who has come along before them, and the reasons never pan-out as the real, underlying reason why they haven't lost the weight...they've been waiting to "lose" the "wait"....waiting to wait = excess weight.

On the surface, the reason everyone gives as to why they haven't lost the weight is because they didn't know what to do...no one told them! Often, they have hired trainer after trainer, not followed through and yet insist that no other trainer has told them what to do! Now, I know the level of professionalism among trainers varies greatly, but these kinds of excuses are coming from people who spend hours on the internet each night snacking while doing "real research" as to the "secrets of weight loss" and always giving reason why the previous trainer wasn't good enough for them.


In reality, if you simply reverse the process

 of how you got fat, you'd lose the fat...but people tend to complicate matters by denying how the thing happened and then covering up what they know with excessive, nutritionally deficient food stuff and immobility (disassociation) [forgetfulness].


If you don't tell yourself the truth, you aren't responsible for the information...right?

One of the most common aspects which enables people to stay stuck / over weight, is that every time someone says all the reasons they are fat, no one in their circle of influence, family, circle of friends, etc., challenges them.


No one says, "Quit making excuses and just go do it".

Like any addictive type lifestyle, there is always the person who is addicted or dependent on the unhealthy, chosen, coping mechanisms and the people around them who are enabling (inadvertently allowing), the person to keep doing the behaviors which get them an outcome (being fat) which is either embarrassing or in someway unsatisfying to them.


Unfortunately, it seems that the more shame and embarrassment a person feels, and the more unhealthy they feel the more they eat and the less they exercise. But, in reality, its not your family or acquaintances' job to make you be honest or straight up with yourself...they likely don't have the skillset needed to do that.





People generally do not question themselves or change their habits unless they lose 1) their health, 2) their relationship 3) their job  or 4) a combination of the three (attempting to move away from what they don't want).  An exception to this is people who have a 'light bulb moment' and begin thinking about what they would rather have (moving toward something they do want) and how much they are willing to change to get the newer, better version of themselves.


The reason the mental, emotional and psychological aspects come up in fitness and health (especially having body composition above 20%) is because these are the aspects, which, when distilled down to their essence simply reflect what the self talk, internal conversations, internal movies and internalized emotions each person replays and reminisces about, which is [in real time] interfering with their progress.


Yes, I'm saying that the things which hold greatest
power over one's success and failure are:

1) Self talk,




2) Internal conversations,




3) Internal movies & pictures and




4) Internalized emotions each person replays and repeatedly reminisces about.

One difference between the people who life seems to be easy (regardless of the context) and the people who either struggle to reach their goal or have trouble maintaining their achievement is related to what they are saying to themselves in their mind, what they are seeing (pictures and movies) and what emotions their accomplishments (identity and ways of being) are charged with. (What emotions they entertain and allow to make a home in their being).


For the most part, the habits and ways of thinking which we grew up with aren't the ones we need to get where we say we want to be.


In other words, whether you know it or not, the things you have accomplished and maintained (regardless how simple, complex, big or insignificant) have been charged or "connected" with the emotions required  to bring the thing into your reality.


Where people unwittingly sabotage themselves is either having goals which are not linked with the positive emotions of accomplishment (not important enough) or they had a goal in mind that was linked with a contrary emotion.


For example, a person who wants to burn fat / lose weight. But, when they originally used cookies and chips as the emotional crutch of choice whenever they didn't get what they wanted or when life didn't go how they said they wanted or whenever there was any kind of conflict with other people.


In other words, they envisioned (in the back of their mind) "getting back at others" by stuffing themselves full of cookies. Done over and over they successfully develop the habit that when life gives them cherry pits, they stuff cookies in and feel like they got back at the other people involved...in other words, they are unconsciously hurting themselves when they get the satisfaction of [in their perception] getting back at others / hurting others or simply disassociating through an overdose of sugar and fat.


You can see the irrationality on this example and so don't get caught up in what flavor the cookies were or whether it was chips or ice cream...its the mechanism or the context not the content or the details that counts and what the outward manifestation of the habits develop into (obesity).


Some people might withhold food, in that the metabolism slows down or binge or purge or even complicate it more with dependence on other substances like alcohol, nicotine and caffeine, which further deepen the disassociation and for lack of better term make the person forget the original pain / stress and the decision they made to hurt themselves (neglect).


The person who withholds nutrition density will insist they don't eat enough to gain weight and the weight gain is a medical mystery!












Bad day + want revenge / satisfaction / control of emotions + get back at the world by hurting self (gives a sense of control, but leads to complete lack of personal control).












Its not uncommon for these types of internal behaviors to be mirrored by outward behaviors of attempting to control others around them, ridiculing loved ones, consistently saying that those around them are disappointing them and generally make everyone else around them irritated and impatient with them (Why would one attempt to control others is they can't control themselves?).


One of the ways people sabotage themselves is that even thought they begin an exercise program, they continue to entertain the mental, emotional & psychological habits that enabled them to believe they were a victim in the whole scenario to begin with (rationalizing self harm, neglect or both).


Burning fat, getting lean and healthy is the science and application simply doing exercise and nutrition (and combining with the completed goal) as the primary words, pictures, movies and emotions you allow to circulate in your mind.


One sure way to know that a person is unlikely to reach their goal, regardless how enthusiastic their launch, is how they spend the other 164 hours in their week when they aren't doing their three hours of resistance training + one hour of cardio.


The person who says they want to get lean and healthy, does their workouts, but then goes right back to seeing and thinking of themselves as victims and manifesting scenarios where they can present themselves as victims, simply won't succeed. People who have been unknowingly seeking attention, sympathy and energy from others, by telling their sob stories will not reach and maintain their goals...their motives and agenda is not clear and "above-the-board", which ties into believing they have to manipulate and control others to be appreciated...which is tied into their self worth. In other words, too much energy is going toward nourishing the victim to become the victor.






Remember, your environment and who you surround yourself with is just as important as the exercise itself. People who simply entertain you when you are, "Oh, whoa-is-me-ing" is just as dangerous as a person buying and handing you S.A.D.C.R.A.P. or alcohol.


People who listen to you complaining and "Poor me-ing" or even co-miserating with you is counteracting any positive affects you might have gained from the exercise, through enabling your mind and thoughts and identity to stay the same as the person who wasn't exercising at all. Seeking counsel or talking in order to solve a problem is the opposite of venting to gain sympathy and energy, as tough you are too weak to build up your own energy....attempting to gain energy through others' sympathy is an unhealthy, self destructive, manipulative motive that leads to more emptiness as it goes on.


You simply can't afford the luxury of the thoughts, self talk, complaining and misery which got you to where you were in the first place. People who want to reinvent themselves begin bringing healthier people then them into their life to raise their circle of influence. *The person who keeps bringing new people, but then losing them or repeatedly joining groups, clubs, churches and so forth but then quitting out of satisfaction are doing so out of the group not tolerating (enabling / feeding) their negativity, not the other way around, although the unproductive self talk would have them perceive otherwise. So you really have to examine your own motives and be honest with the answers you get.


A BIG paradox of this type of dilemma is that nutrition and exercise are in-and-of- themselves easier and require less energy than the habits that make a person fat and unhealthy in the first place. So what you're left with is realizing you will have more energy simply by doing healthy habits than by not controlling yourself, trying to control others, lacking faith in associating with healthy-minded people rather than having to convince people to get together for a bitch session, disguised as socializing. Yes, I am saying that being overweight is a side effect of misuse of your energy and spirit.

For example, if you've ever watched athletes really closely, the professional and Olympic level athletes, you notice they look really light hearted and positive...light on their feet. They simply couldn't attain that level of health and performance by allowing negative emotions, controlling attitudes, manipulative self care and so forth to take up residence within them and reach, let alone maintain that level of health and prosperity. The athletes who "almost" make it over and over are having trouble freeing their mind and emotions consistently enough to be "in the zone" and allow it to happen...self sabotage, since there is a conflict of interest between their mind and emotions.


With athletes that get really close to their potential, every time the coach makes an adjustment to their program, something else goes wrong as if the problem is a slippery piece of spaghetti. The coach can name the issue and develop a plan to work around it, but until the athlete quits making excuses, accommodating the imbalance and avoiding the work they have avoided their goals will always seem to slip right through heir fingers. There's nothing the coach can do to work around the athlete who won't take responsibility for creating the atmosphere for the proven principles to work.


From mental, emotional and psychological standpoints, until you look and listen in on the pictures, movies and emotions you're allowing to inhabit you no amount of success will be sustainable over a period of about three months...the reasons being that every time your success is greater than the sum of what you think, imagine and see as who you are and what your future looks like, you'll always regress back to the previous version of you.


Now its not a mystery and you have complete control over yourself and you know why you haven't been able to change other people...it has to come from within and you can't change  another person's view of themselves.


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