#33A: "Weighting To Wait"

Reasons or

Results! 

Fitness Nutrition Training

 

Sovereign Michael Valentine

SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master

 

206.225.9647

email: sovereignmv@gmail.com

web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com

 

Special Report #33A

 

Part of the

“I see you to succeeding!”

series.

 

"Weighting To Wait

 

Emotional Booby-Traps

a.k.a.

"How come I can't eat just one?!"

 

"I just look at food and it goes to my hips!"

 

"I just look at cake and it goes to my butt!"

 

"I'm doing everything right, and I'm STILL not losing weight!"

 

"I was just going to have a taste, and then I ate the whole cake!"

 

"How come I can't eat just one?!"

 

"I'm an exception to the rules...the rules don't apply to me!"

 

"A glass of wine!...I drink a bottle a night!"

 

"What's the use?"

 

"Yay, yay... I know that,... but tell me more things that work."

 

"You told me to ride a bike for 20 minutes, so I rode it for 60 minutes."

 

"You can't make me eat...I don't have to take care of myself!"

 

"I paid for $5,000 worth of training, when does the fat go away?

 

These comments and questions are very, very common in the day-to-day grind we know as weight loss, or  as I refer to it and teach as "Fat-loss".

 

Right off, I want to make sure you get that there isn't anything inherently wrong with us when we have trouble accessing our positive emotional states...I've been there. The point being to increase awareness, acknowledge when something isn't working, notice the pattern or strategy which is or isn't working and then through careful and consistent introspection develop emotional strategies which enable the achievement of our goals...regardless of the context. With that in mind...

 

Part of my own journey of escaping sugar addiction, S.A.D.C.R.A.P. and life-sucking junk food has been introspection and looking at, "What came before this?"

 

In general, we know that the two most important tools at our disposal are properly structured & executed exercise programs and nutritional density (meaning dense concentrations of the micro and macro nutrients) of the highest quality and at appropriate, consistent times, which are based on your goals.

 

In some of my works, I refer to a phenomena I call the "Catch-22" of fat-loss. In other words, sometimes the very things required to burn fat safely and in a sustainable way, require things to be done which can't be done until they are done! There has to be some maturity, critical-thinking, perspective on the self, ownership and impulse management in some ways.

 

At some point, we have to act as an adult and override what we "feel" like doing now, in exchange for what who we want to be in the future. In some ways, this can be thought of as a type of "waking-up" process.

 

For example, many people find it difficult to stop cravings for S.A.D.C.R.A.P., especially if they have been inappropriately cutting calories, which in-turn inherently reduces the amount of food they eat, which in-turn reduces the amount of nutrition density in the diet, which in-turn increases the cravings for S.A.D.C.R.A.P. and in-turn undermines our motivation to do the actions to get what we say we want... S.A.D.C.R.A.P. is a drug!

 

The correlation is high, between nutritional density in the mind / body and ability to reason, rationalize, behavior vs intentions and ability to follow through on stated goals, even from day to day.

 

In other words, the more a person does the habits which are falsely proported to help a person lose weight, the further they get in the hole of needing to lose weight...a vicious cycle  of the "Catch-22 of Fat-loss".

 

But, there is another deeper (sometimes more difficult to put your finger on, identify, define, subtle yet powerful) pattern which can affect people who are striving to burn fat, but aren't getting the kind of results they should be. Over the last decades, I have observed that 12 pounds of fat loss per month is quite a conservative expectation. In other words, the people who follow the suggestions of what to do nutritionally and are consistent with the timing and type of exercise fundamentals I suggest (three times a week), 20 pounds of fat loss per month is conservative, too!...40 pounds a month isn't unheard of, nor unhealthy or risky in any way...as long as you follow the nutrition suggestions, in order to increase lean mass while reducing fat.

 

In the 1970's, up through the 1990's and even today, if you're talking to an illiterate trainer or canned dietician, burning more than 2 pounds per week can seem too fast...to unsafe and if you're not taking care of your nutritional-hygiene then much of the "weight-loss" is lean mass and water (dehydration). But, if you are doing nutrition correctly and that means whole-foods, functional-foods, the BNBBs as well as eating every 3 hours, you can burn way more than 2 pound per week and be building up your health from the inside out, as well as reversing and preventing many dis-eases previously considered genetic.

 

4 influences:

 

Like every endeavor there's four influences or qualities which help or hinder our progress:

 

1. Physical

 

2. Mental

 

3. Emotional and

 

4. Spiritual.

 

Neither of these is more important than another. 

Ideally, they are all supposed to work together synergistically.

 

BUT, of the four influences, one of them can over run the other three.

 

In my own experiences, especially the last 28 years, I have found that asking questions and being patient for the answer(s), clarity seems to appear...the answers come when the questions are earnest. In the case with clients who were doing most of their workouts correctly, but doing the nutrition parts in a hit & miss fashion, the emotional state tends to bully the physical, mental and spiritual aspects around. Here's an example:

 

Clients who are skipping the nutritional suggestions (whole foods + functional-foods + BNBBs + frequent snacks and eating right up until bedtime), tended to make rash decisions based on how they felt in the moment versus what their longer term goals are AND once they decided to "cheat" and have a bite of something, they couldn't stop (impulse control).

 

Yes, I am saying the emotional stability and emotional based eating is tied to how much nutrition density you ingest AND I'm saying that if a person can't remember or make a habit of consuming nutrition density (whole foods + functional-foods + BNBBs + frequent snacks and eating right up until bedtime), then they will likely have to do some serious emotional introspection, before correct exercise and nutrition will provide long-term, sustainable, healthy body composition of 20% or less. (Nutrition density & some correct exercise really works...but nothing will help if we let our emotional outbursts dictate what we will and won't follow through on.).

 

HINT, Hint: When emotional content is trying to surface, you'll either get off track with exercise, forget to take your BNBBs or tempt yourself with a "bite" of S.A.D.C.R.A.P. that doesn't stop there (the hand will grab S.A.D.C.R.A.P. and the undernourished mind will give you "permission to cheat a little"). So, from this point forward, it's not that you don't know better.

 

When nutrition doesn't seem to be working, it indicates that the emotional content is bullying the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of the self. Generally, the more one adamantly denies the emotional component, the more likely it is interfering with progress.

 

One of the dichotomies of body fat that is a result of, or at least influenced by suppressed / repressed emotional content (not being present enough in the moment), is that in order to keep the emotional content suppressed...(outside the conscious awareness), one must consume massive amounts of nutrient-deficient calories in order to keep it suppressed or withhold nutritional density all together (eating too little).

 

The body itself is supposed to be a vehicle for emotions to pass through...in other words, we have emotions in order to have a more rich life experience...but, in some people the emotions begin to get "used" differently...in a way where ultimately, the emotions are "running" the mind and body versus the emotions being a phenomena which enriches the life experience itself. Symptoms of this dynamic include depression and anxiety. (Ties into "right use of energy" in an earlier blog post).

 

Yes, I am saying that if you are exercising correctly (have it double checked by a qualified person) and you know you're doing the nutrition correctly (whole foods + functional-foods + BNBBs + frequent snacks and eating right up until bedtime), yet stuck as far as fat loss is concerned, then it's likely that unaddressed emotional content is bullying the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of your personality around...short-circuiting  your fat-loss efforts!

 

The most clear example of this dynamic is when the client does great during their supervised workout session, but goes home and between sessions not only skips the homework they agreed to, but goes so far as to consume S.A.D.C.R.A.P. or put themselves in an environment where S.A.D.C.R.A.P. is and then proceeds to binge on it, whether for an hour or the whole time between training sessions. Being around people who will encourage or enable or provide access to S.A.D.C.R.A.P. is mutually self-destructive...choose who you associate with because your life depends on it! And along the same lines...

 

Healthy relationships:

It's up to you to inform the people you are socializing with (having meals with, family dinners, eating out, etc.), that you're on a new program, a new path to improve yourself. Most people are going to respect your commitment, but it's up to you to follow through regardless what surprise S.A.D.C.R.A.P. shows up in your vicinity. It's up to you to mentally rehearse being presented with situations that will test your will-power...visualize all the potential situations that could dis-able your success and then replace it with ways you'll handle the situations to your benefit.

 

The public in general is used to people saying they are "on a diet" and its common for people to show their love by offering food and desserts, but it's up to you to show respect for your intentions and stick to your own program (discipline). Others don't have to join in...it's not their battle...thank them, but pass.

 

There are cases where loved ones, friends and acquaintances sabotage efforts either on purpose (hopefully not) or inadvertently from lack of understanding and importance. It's your responsibility to inform the people in your circle of influence and stick to your plan. If you can't stick to your plan, its then up to you to decide how important your goals are and what they're worth to you.

 

HEADS-UP: More often than not, the very best way to handle relationships and friendships is to let everyone know your plans ahead of time, that you love them and you'll be doing some new habits to succeed. In turn, you ask for their moral support and define for them what moral support means to you. Loved ones generally enable us to do things that aren't good for us, because they don't want to see us suffer in the short-run, even if its detrimental in the long run.

 

By communicating with loved ones in advance, they are less likely to feel as though you are pulling away or growing apart. More specifically, move toward them, connect with them emotionally and then let them know you'll still be around, just different than before. People tend to perceive changes in lifestyle, habits and behaviors as threatening...change can be scary. It doesn't have to be that way, but what eases the process of the improvements you'll be going through which will likely have a dramatic effects on those around you. Good news is that as many of them as they choose can join you. Some will, some won't.

 

It doesn't matter if some or all of the people won't morally support you, BUT, it's your responsibility to build a small circle of influence, starting with your trainer...people who unequivocally support you on your journey. It doesn't mean you write people off for not supporting you, since they are fighting their own battles. You don't have to skip socials and gatherings, but you do have to build another group of friends who do support you. If you simply aren't experienced enough to define and set boundaries, then yes, skip the environments which are likely to interfere...love them from a distance.

 

Enabling behavior seems soothing in the immediate, but sacrifices health in the long run (a short-term favor to a long-term dis-service). Ultimately, you have to set clear boundaries, make sure loved ones know what that means in terms of their behavior, but then it's up to you to do the behaviors, whatsoever the circumstances presented, which enable your success. If you think people will understand what you're going through, they likely won't, and it's not their responsibility. If they decide to join you on our journey and turn over a new life for themselves, it's at that point they'll "get it". But it's up to you, not them.

 

It's your responsibility to build a circle of influence (group of people), who either share your goals or at least have similar goals and don't attempt to sabotage you...sabotage is common, but getting yourself out of the sabotage environment is your responsibility. 

 

It's common that people who have been living and associating according to unspoken lifestyle habits (emotional suppression, avoiding exercise and nutrition), associate with a group of people who all have similar habits. It's not uncommon to date, partner up or marry people with these underlying patterns. Once one of the people decides they are done with that lifestyle, there can be pressure to maintain the previous unhealthy lifestyle (peer-pressure / tribe mentality).

 

People who have these dynamics going on, generally socialize and with people who have similar underlying dynamics, whether they know it or not. People generally don't know until they gain a lot of fat and ask, "Whoa, what just happened?" what their underlying belief systems and identities are.

 

Occupation:

In some cases, even the job or work can be such that since the job was found and acquired under the influence of these emotional dynamics, the job, co-workers, employer, boss, etc. unwittingly enable the behaviors which allow this unhealthy lifestyle to continue. I think this is why as people clean up their own nutritional and fitness habits, they often tend to find jobs that have healthier corresponding lifestyle. Does your job congruently support the healthiest emotional, nutritional and fitness version of yourself? 

 

Circle of influence & relationship tips:

•  Mentally rehearse & visualize handling social situations ahead of time,

•    Imagine leaving social situations feeling strong that you stuck to your plan,

• Tell people your goals and if they ask, what the program is you're following, but don't feel obligated to disclose details.

• Ask for moral support of your peers,

• Be specific, give them instructions what "support" means to you 
            (e.g. "Please don't offer me food".)

• Build a secondary circle of influence, that doesn't have the usual emotional ties and enabling behavior.("Would you like to join me?") and

• Maintain ties with loved ones; forgive them if they don't have the wherewithal to help. 
  Emotional tricks:
  Some telltale signs to let you know if the dynamics are happening, is if your body fat is above 20%. A second example is when  person (check in with yourself), states their fitness and wellness goals, dreams & aspirations, asks for help from and hires an expert they have chosen, yet repeatedly disputes, argues (outwardly or by talking to themselves in their own head), or (instead of thinking things through) repeats, "Yay, but what  I FEEL is...." (Until you have reached your goal of 20% body composition, emotional feelings to not follow through are inaccurate, since there is often a segment of the psyche that is spending more energy trying to figure out how to stay the same, but get the fitness results, rather than how to change and improve...). (perfecting the neurosis). This of course is assuming the professionals you choose truly are qualified.
   
  Replace the word FEEL with "think" in your vocabulary. Once you replace the word feel with think, you'll have a more rational, clear-minded view of the situation at hand and which behaviors are a match...until you reach your goal, your "feelings" will be attempting to steer you back to what "feels" familiar and safe...not necessarily what will get you your outcomes. Once you do reach your goals, you'll be amazed how feelings that are rooted in unhealthy behavior encourage more unhealthy behavior.
   
  In order to get new outcomes in life, you'll have to be okay with the behaviors feeling unnatural or even scary (proceeding on faith), but once it becomes a habit, you'll wonder how you ever lived in such an unhealthy way and your internal emotional compass will be directed at true north.
   
  Often, when a person who pays an unhealthy level of  attention to how they "feel", in every moment and they proceed to find a new "better" trainer, they are all excited until the trainer guides and suggests behaviors which short-circuit the self-defeating behavior. In other words, in an effort to perfect the neurosis, they fire every trainer who attempts to hold them accountable to behaviors that will get them what they say they want from their trainer, doctor, coach etc. I've had clients fire me for insisting they stretch!
   
  This phenomena happens in every profession and is often referred to as being "fickle" or "flakey" or "non-compliant" and relates to being in stage one of personal change work (pre-contemplation).Until one is committed, they refuse to do the behaviors to get what they say they want!...yet blame others for them not getting the outcomes they insist they want.
   
  And this is a very important distinction...feelings are important (the different distinctions described below), but when we pay attention to how we FEEL about doing the right thing and the feelings are telling us that the right / healthy actions "feel" wrong, it's a clear indicator that the person's emotional compass is off...hence, having some habitual thoughts and actions that enabled behaviors which led to body composition well above 20% body fat level. Feelings ARE important, but using the feelings as a rationale to not take the actions to meet your goals...eh, yay.
   
  Feelings are important, but when we have been conditioned to feel that unhealthy, incongruent, addictive type behavior is normal it's time for some clarification, sorting and discernment. "Feelings" aren't necessarily "right" in every situation...feelings can make unnatural, unhealthy behavior feel normal.
   
  It is important to process feelings, but not healthy to replace taking healthy actions nor doing healthy habits with processing emotional feelings.
   
  In other words, in order to get your body fat to 20% or less,  stave off de-generative dis-ease and get in the best shape of your life, and maintain it, you cannot believe or behave as though the "feelings" (which are simply giving you the message that the new healthier behaviors are somehow wrong) are true north for your new lifestyle goals.
   
  On the next two tables are some examples of the healthy feelings associated with fat-loss success as a matter of being present in the moment contrasting with others, as a result of unresolved emotional content as well as some behavioral consequences.

 

Being Present

Emotional Feelings:

Feeling inspired & relaxed.

Looking forward to a bright future.

Anticipating & expecting achievement.

Excitement.

Follow direction / coachable:

Learn as you go;

Teach others.

Build circle of influence / group.

Victor. Identifies with success...looks forward to future successes.

Feels, expresses, & releases, feels lighter.

Names what happened without excuses.

Takes care of self, first.

Consistent.

Participates.

Efficiency.

"You won't believe what happened!"

Directness.

Agreeable.

Reasonable: Gets along with others.

Happiness.

Follows through.

"I lost another 5% last night!"

Simply follows the plan.

"Show me what to do."

"I don't know why, but I take my BNBBs and exercise anyway."

"Tell me what to do."

Does the basics consistently.

Proactive self care.

"Thank you for your help & guidance!"

Acts on professional suggestions.

"The cup is half-full."

Takes BNBBs daily.

No failure, just feedback.

"Every little bit adds up."

Focuses on fundamentals.

Moderation behavior.

Sticks to basic fundamentals.

Self-empowering behavior.

"I just do it."

Notices, acknowledges & addresses addiction.

Masters fundamentals.

Consumes enough BNBBs 

that cravings are gone.

Practices impulse control.

Gets new workout every 6 weeks.

Takes BNBBs like clockwork.

Recalculates body composition, target heart rate and calories every 30 days.

Being Absent / Dis-associated

Emotional Feelings:

Anxious (worry about the future).

Scared / fear.

Doubtful / skeptical.

Indifference.

Declare a need to understand everything before beginning...but you can't understand it until you've completed it, so they don't begin! (procrastination).

Keeps plans a secret; disappointed people don't respect unspoken boundaries.

Victim. Over-identifies with what "happened" in the past.

Allows the past to define self now.

Feels, suppresses, holds, & acts out or sabotages / hurts self in some way(s).

Rationalizes poor behavior(s) or rationalizes procrastination.

Takes care of others, first.

Inconsistent.

"Wait, not so fast, too fast".

Procrastination.

"I don't know what to do."

Avoidance.

Disagreeable.

Unreasonable:

Manipulates for emotional distance.

Depressed (recycling the past).

Anxious (focus on the future).

Flakey, fickle, non-compliant.

"I just look at cake

and it goes to my butt!"

(exaggeration / drama-mama / papa)

"Last night I was just

dying for some ice cream."

"Help me...no, not that."

"I don't know why."

Argumentative.

"I want to lose weight, but I don't

want to exercise or take supplements

...tell me what to do."

(unreasonable expectations)

Too busy to succeed.

"You can't make me eat...                                             I don't have to take care of myself!"                                         (inner conflict / polar response)                                            "You can' tell me what to do."

    (emotional immaturity).

(attention seeking)

     

Does the opposite of 

 professional suggestions.

(polar response)

              "I can't remember."              

(emotional fogginess)

(lack of commitment)

"I was just going to have a taste,

and then I ate the whole cake!"

(impulse control)

"How come I can't eat just one?!"

 (cravings / deficiency of BNBBs)

"I'm an exception to the rules                                                 ...the rules don't apply to me!"

    (arrogance (fear + anger))

"A glass of wine!...(addiction)

    I drink a bottle a night!"

     isn't a little wine okay?"

"I'm doing everything right,

      and I'm STILL not losing weight!"

All or nothing behavior...                                   You told me to ride a bike for                                             20 minutes so I rode it for 60 minutes".                                      (self sabotage)

                          

          "Yay, yay... I know that,...

         but tell me more things that work."
      (information junkie)


          "What's the use?"           (learned helplessness)

         Beat up on self to rationalize 

        nutritional cheating or inactivity.


       "Can I eat S.A.D.C.R.A.P. now?"
     (self loathing)

     Too much is never enough.      (nutritional masochism)

If you think of any other examples, I would love to hear them.

Examples of this dichotomy:

• Wanting to do familiar exercises, which have not shown to produce long-term fat-loss.
   

• Overlooking the importance of / skipping quality BNBBs.
   

• Saying you're doing what you were taught to do, not doing it, then saying, "Nothing works".

• Sabotaging your own results, by not scheduling time for workouts...high priority.

• Avoiding to do the inner work / personal work on yourself to change your identity to see yourself as a fitness buff or athlete.

• Procrastination.

• Modifying the program you agreed to do, long enough to experience measurable results.

• "I don't feel like it".

• Refusing to take high quality dietary supplements, inn order to make success easier and assure sustainability.
  Short term favor~Long term dis-service:
   
  Paralysis from focusing too much on how you "feel" in the moment...behaving as if a temporary feeling dictates a permanent behavior or absence of behavior:
   
  Emotions are meant to be experienced from the inside-out in order to enhance our life. When emotions are experienced from the outside-in, the emotions control us to the point where we are paralyzed by "overwhelming feelings"...they take up an exhorbanant amount of our physical, mental and fighting spirit energy.
   
  In today's society, there seems to be more attention paid to the political correctness surrounding the acknowledgment emotions and feelings, but in a lot of cases, people pay so much attention that they get stuck in "feeling" mode.
   
  The result is depression, lack of motivation, compulsion, impulsivity, and anxiety. Depression and anxiety are examples of being stuck in feeling mode and that's why people who get moving tend to overcome both depression and anxiety...both of these respond to nutrition and exercise although  there are many causes.
   
  Once someone's body composition is greater than 20%, general "activity" and recommended daily allowances aren't enough. Once a person gets "stuck" in feeling mode and they can't seem to overcome inertia nor remember to take their BNBBs, the cycle of "Which came first, the depression & anxiety or the brain chemicals which support depression and anxiety?" swings into full speed, seemingly for no apparent reason..."What came before this?"
   
  But the "Catch-22" here, is that the more we focus on the overwhelming feelings (rather than physically staying in motion) the more the feelings seem to consume more of the attention. Hence, many people get some pretty amazing initial results simply by doing low intensity walking for distance...the "process" being slow and controlled and allows for "processing" of feelings at a very low intensity. (the downside being that if lean mass isn't increased, via resistance training, long-term results aren't likely sustainable). 
   
  Like a loyal dog trying to please its master, emotions which have progressed to where anxiety, depression, apathy, procrastination and self sabotage have been status quo, the emotions think they are serving to protect you, when in reality the benefit has gone too far...once the emotions are interfering with taking even basic, low intensity actions (like fat-burning cardio) then we know the important "feelings" are no longer working to our benefit...they have outlived their usefulness in that context...BUT, the whole point is to take some time, or get counseling, or get talk to me, or get therapy, or meditate or whatever modality you choose, to ask those paralyzing emotions, to identify, "What are you trying to tell me?"...and then wait and be patient and open to the answer...get it? ask the question and then take some small action.
   
  How to know if your "process" is effective, is to check your body composition every 30 days.
   
  For me, I have found that asking of yourself sincerely, "What are you trying to tell me", being quiet and still for a few minutes followed by a medial task like washing dishes, washing the car by hand, weeding the garden or anything where the question is floating there in the back of your mind, while busily occupying the hands with housecleaning type task, the answer pops into your conscious mind fairly quickly. 
   
  The "Catch-22" here is that the emotions that are interfering today, most likely began as a protective mechanism and likely have positive intention. In other words, if I was raised in a home where it was stressful, traumatic or even controlling and dangerous and I could neither fight nor flee, I might have relied on food as a self-medicating, self-soothing coping mechanism when other coping mechanism weren't available or condoned. 
   
  But, as we know,habits only take a few weeks to become solidified in the personality. Even if the time of that coping mechanism making any rational sense has passed, the habit is likely still running the program in the background outside my awareness...and shows up when I begin a structure to get benefits which are the opposite of what the emotions were trying to facilitate for me...safety through non-action...learned helplessness.
   
  But, as an adult, if I have my mental and emotional faculties about me, it's my responsibility to have the wherewithal to notice "something is off" and invest a little time, take an interest in what's going on, get present and resolve to take control of my emotions, rather than letting the emotions side track me.
   
  Do you see how certain kinds of emotions might have been helpful in one context in the past, but might be interfering in the present?
   
  It's very important to consider this can happen for one very important reason...
   
  The body as the "container of emotions":
   
  One of the most remarkable phenomena I observe during the fat-loss process is the reversal of the fat-storage process! The body goes from storing fat and not using it for energy to seemingly melting fat way at record rates. Emotions are seemingly intangible, subtle and virtually invisible to our naked eyes. Yet we feel them, respond to them and through careful observation and mapping of the outward affects and behaviors of the emotions, we can see the limits as well as the beneficial effects of emotional hygiene and self awareness. We can see that emotions can help or hinder depending how they are used...to get associated and present or to disassociate and "checked-out". 
   
  We know that emotions in and of themselves do not dictate if a person will be "overweight". Some people (me included) respond quite the opposite and lose weight when emotions are running high, except to the unhealthy, lean mass-losing phenomena. But, with the people who are storing excess body fat (about 80% of the population now), the fat itself, and the emotional content literally adhere to one another...yes, body fat and emotional material stick to one another.
   
  Now, let's suppose, even if this doesn't make sense yet, what do you think is going to happen when a person goes from unconsciously self-medicating emotional wounds by consuming excess calories and being paralyzed by the intense, outside-the-awareness feelings...to beginning to fuel the brain properly, beginning to exercise regularly and the stuff the emotions are glued to (body fat) begins to seemingly magically melt away? 
   
  What will happen to the emotional content now?
   
  Now the emotional content that has been stuffed away and has been partners with the fat, is suddenly standing in the street alone...exposed! That's right, the emotions begin to escalate and amplify whatever feelings they made you feel in order to withhold nutrition, skip the BNBBs and avoid activity, which would take the focus off keeping the emotions pacified.
   
  Sounds irrational doesn't it? Exactly! That's the mind and body's way of beginning to give you a heads-up that something is off emotionally...behavior that consistently doesn't match stated goals...inner emotional conflict. When the emotions are inappropriately running the show, the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of the personality will not only get pushed to the back burner, but will simultaneously accept, amplify and utilize those unorthodox emotional drives in order to point out to you where investigation of the self needs to occur...you need to take an interest in yourself, get curious, ask the right questions, get still enough for the answers to be heard or seen, followed by a desire, motivation and commitment to address what the emotions were trying to "do" for you...then continue to pay attention where the emotions try to run the show again...like peeling an onion.
   
  As each layer of the emotional puzzle motivations surface, the intensity is decreased and the next stage of the process becomes easier. You're learning new skills! Learning self-empowerment.
   
  The point of the structured exercise and nutrition is to replace the self-deprecating habits with empowering habits before removing the self-deprecating ones...HINT, HINT...provide positive replacement before removing what you don't want...to help assure success!
   
  I have watched this process over and over and over again. I have watched the people who know this and engage the process succeed and maintain that success, as well as people who didn't face the process head on and end up doing a little effort over the course of years, never reaching their initial goals which could have taken 4 or 5 months only to gain back more fat.
   
  My intention is to give you a heads-up so that you don't lose any time or suffer and agonizing setbacks on your own fat-loss path,.like most people who don't know this do! Truthfully, most trainers haven't mapped this stuff, let alone medical professionals and "support groups" which tout "weight loss". Losing "weight" (lean mass), only compounds the problem / cycle, since the less lean mass you have, the less energy you have and ultimately it's as though the suppressed emotions can't even give clear messages...then as a person begins to "eat more" the emotions start talking again, the suppression continues and  the fat storage continues.
   
  As a trainer, I've had the luxury of studying the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects all at once...it's all right there..maybe because I did the work on myself first.

Wanting to do familiar exercises, which have not shown to produce long-term fat-loss.

 

• Overlooking the importance of / skipping quality BNBBs.
• Saying you're doing what you were taught to do, not doing it, then saying, "Nothing works".
• Sabotaging your own results, by not scheduling time for workouts...high priority.
• Avoiding to do the inner work / personal work on yourself to change your identity to see yourself as a fitness buff or athlete.
• Procrastination.
• Modifying the program you agreed to do, long enough to experience measurable results.
• "I don't feel like it".
• Refusing to take high quality dietary supplements, inn order to make success easier and assure sustainability.