Wednesday, December 31, 2014

#36: Fresh Start!



Reasons or
Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training


Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master


206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com


Special Report #2

Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series


Fresh Start!


Ok, ok, we know that New Year "resolutions" in-and-of-themselves don't work.


Why is that? 


Here's why: When we talk about reaching our goals "once-and-for-all" or say["This is the year for me"] we're really saying that we assume the change or improvement we're wanting comes from the outside and we hope it affects us on the inside...it implies the idea to ourselves that something other than being fully engaged in the process of personal change (the time of year, for example), will be responsible for our resolution to come to pass...it's an underlying, unconscious symptom of lack of self confidence and self defeat.

It also points to the idea that once the "New Year" has passed, responsibility and accountability as also waned.


In reality, permanent, productive change  occurs from the inside out and is a lifelong process... -not a one time event managed by the date (New Year) or a made-up deadline.

Success is not in beginning but in continuing!

Success comes disguised as a process, not an event.

This is because success only comes from
self development which is not present in the beginning!

(Read that again!)

A secret to personal success in any endeavor comes from the personal development of the self...working through the personal blocks that got in the way of previous attempts...not in the declaration of a new, bigger goal but in following through to discover things about the self!

Another way to say it is that the things you need to know to succeed you won't know until you follow through!..seems backwards, right?


The goal doesn't get the goal, its in defining what hasn't worked but felt so comfortable and doing new actions which feel so uncomfortable and inconvenient but following through anyway!

Isn't that the crux?...that in order to attain a better version of self, you have to do things which are inconvenient to your current world and ways of being!


In other words, one of the greatest and most common misunderstandings in relation to weight loss and fitness / health improvement type goals (all goal categories for that matter), is the assumption that the world on the outside will affect us is a way where we'll become a different person, get different results and have a better life without having to do work [behavioral change] on the inside, first and foremost. 


Secondly, I think the next most significant reason for us not being reasonable in our expectations for goal setting is that we assume we know what went into someone else attaining remarkable success. 


In other words, we see someone super healthy, fit and sexy athletic type running or on the treadmill and presume they got that way by running. Or, we see someone's before and after photos and we think we should get similar results in the first week. (The small improvements are the motivation fuel to keep going one day at a time, not that every workout will produce the final goal in the first week!)


SIDE NOTE: 80% of the results you get, how fast you get them or the results you DON'T get are related to the quality and timing of your whole food, functional-food and supplement routine. (This is why nowadays, I simply don't accept personal training clients who intend to skip these 3 nutrition factors). It's that important! 


One reason we get unreasonable expectations related to our goals, is that our culture is set up to imply that we can "spend money" on a product or service and it will "do us" so we have a different result than what we get from our habitual behaviors (daily routine). The quality of products and services you invest in certainly can enhance your exercise time, but quality is definitely "the difference that makes the difference". 


Purchase mediocre supplements and you'll be exerting more energy than you should have to in order to get the same amount of results. In other words, high quality supplements make it so you get better results with less time, energy and $ invested.... And that's why I love Shaklee... There simply aren't any better supplements out there...the results are measurable both in your body composition and blood chemistry values that your doctor will likely be pleased by if they are paying attention.


Admittedly, some people adapt to change more easily and efficiently than others, making new, more productive behaviors easier and more sustainable. Personally, I tend to adapt to some kinds of change easily and some kinds of change with challenge, it just depends on the context.


So, when imagining what changes you want for your life, first and foremost imagine that you'll have to be decisive about trading the unproductive parts of your personality which led you further from your goals, in exchange for new, more productive behaviors / habits that support your new goal. At first it will feel foreign, but it will get easier each day you stick to it and follow through.


In other words, there are about four or five different stages that people go through in making a solid decision to attain a new goal, from 1) thinking about it, to 2) planning, 3) following through and creating new habits to 4) attainment and 5) maintenance mode. 

Sometimes people think they have made a decision inside, when in reality they just purchased a gym membership; maybe paid for personal training but skipped the step of making a solid decision on the inside.

This step seems obvious in hind site, but it ties into the mistake of thinking that spending money affects the necessary change to get what you want. It's not! It's just that spending money is the easiest part and where the real work BEGINS!!!

Purchasing a gym membership or supplements provides greater opportunity to enable yourself to make better decisions...but don't mistake those purchases for dynamic internal improvements in decision.

When you do make an integrity based decision,  nothing gets in the way of the day-in and day-out behaviors to work toward the goal you say you want...workouts and dietary improvements.


You simple have to get to the place of [internal resolve] where you feel you can no longer go forward without having the thing you want. A single point of focus. A non-negotiable. [A contract with your soul.]

The "idea", "goal", or "resolution" is simply the first step in making a thorough decision to begin the process of change to get different results in life...like seeing a road sign before starting the journey. The sign is not the accomplishment and saying is not doing.


Get it? In order to get what you want you have to change as s person to get what you want.
Oh, I KNOW!!! It's so un-PC to say people should change. But in reality, the idea of PC is inherently designed to enable people to feel comfortable about things they shouldn't be comfortable about! And the "change" is simply you changing to get what YOU insist YOU want!


So, we all know that you have to be [reasonable and specific] about what you want as well as [attach a specific date of attainment] to it so you can measure progress or lack there of. 

For example, burning 15 pounds of fat by March 30 is reasonable (15 pounds per month is doable if your nutrition is "dialed-in", so 15 pounds in 3 months is conservative) as long as you started and follow through the first week of January. This goal is [specific] since it's easy to measure your body composition and know if the behaviors you're doing are working efficiently or not. [Whether you're honest with yourself about the results of your body composition is beside the point]. And then of course [attach a date of completion] for accountability purposes (you're the only one that makes it happen or prevents it from happening). 
,
Rarely, does anyone progress perfectly on a pre-planned timeline no matter the goal or the context...you have to plan for time it take to adjust course...otherwise you risk unreasonable disappointment when you don't reach the goal on a date that was simply in your imagination and not based in reality.

Next, know that your daily routine is either helping or hindering your success. So, the actions and behaviors you'll need to do will [at first] feel foreign and unnatural...that's natural! That's normal for any change work. (You don't get to stay the same, maintain your current lifestyle, keep eating sh*t-food, drinking and doing the same things but get different results). [Unreasonable expectations]. 


I've had weight loss clients who bought $5,000 worth of training and then insisted they had neither the time or money to get their supplements, but when we itemized their daily routine and daily spending habits, it turned out they were setting aside $200-$300 per month for getting their nails and hair done and another $200 for coffee!! Is that not insane? (unconscious expectation that fitness is a thing that happens from the outside-in versus the inside-out).


When we look at the motivation of this kind of routine we often find that the "hair and nails" client doesn't have full length mirrors in their home. In other words, they make sure their hair and makeup are done [look good from the neck up] and of course they can see their beautiful nails out there at the end of their hands, but they rarely even see themselves in a full length mirror! (I suggest everyone put a full length mirror somewhere near the kitchen / dining area in their home so they can get present to the reality of the situation). 


So, by looking at how much time, energy & $$$ they were setting aside for nails, hair and tanning their obese version they were able to see "how" they could afford themselves the supplements, food and personal training which ultimately is going to be more satisfying anyway.

And that ties into why people often "wake up!" once they see a full body, candid, unexpected picture of themselves... they can't see themselves and stay in denial about the fat unless they have some other mental issue which is competing with becoming a more healthy person. 


Third, people tend to think that change / behavior habits are "comfortable" for people who are traditionally successful in any area of endeavor. But, the truth of the matter is that changing behavior isn't comfortable (at all) for anyone unless they get some satisfaction out of pain! (This is a real phenomena). In other words, you want to make comfortable what you perceived would be an uncomfortable experience...the experience of working toward your goal one day at a time...overriding the stagnation or inertia of being stuck, out of shape and fat.


And, once a person has consistently succeeded at attaining their goals through uncomfortable behavioral change, then the discomfort in the first three weeks will be associated with the long term payoff of reaching your goals and the discomfort of new behavior isn't perceived as a negative thing. (The first three weeks is the most psychologically and emotionally challenging time of establishing the lifestyle that supports the new goal, regardless of whether you're working on your first goal or you're a highly successful professional regardless of industry or context).


Finally, get professional help! 


Most everything we master in life we begin by seeing someone else do first, learn it from others or get lessons and learn it correctly from the start! 


The most common manifestation of self-sabotage is saying "I'm going to "try" it on my own first". 


"Trying it on my own" is essentially saying, "It's just not that important to me...I'm going to leave it to chance". 


Hoping it will work is not a plan.


People who hire a trainer who have no intention of changing their lifestyle, continuing to indulge in SADCRAP, get fatter and fatter but can say they tried everything and yes, they are the only person in the planet which the fundamental laws of nature do not apply to them.

But they "tried e-v-e-r-y-t-h-I-n-g" except changing from the inside out, which is not in conflict with being authentic...to improve and be truly authentic you have to continually improve from the inside out!


You have to work "cooperatively and reasonably" with natural laws of nature you can't make up your own rules and expectations, ignore the laws of nature as though they don't apply to you and then insist the natural laws "don't work for you".


What I know as a trainer who has been doing this for decades, both personally and professionally, is that the vast majority of those people who don't succeed with their initial goal (15 pounds fat loss in three months) will quit by March and gain 1-2 pounds of fat per month until January of the following year!


In other words, if you don't get professional help, from a good professional, from the beginning (first 3 weeks to 3 months), the odds of you doing your nutrition, exercise and habits correctly from the beginning are stacked against you. It simply doesn't work. As you probably already know from my previous blurbs, until I got my first trainer I consistently didn't get results and consistently got hurt exercising. There's a reason personal trainers exist, you're not "above it" and even personal trainers have personal trainers! Duh! 


Now, bear in mind there is a wide range of qualifications with personal trainers. How to know if you have a decent trainer is whether you're getting the results they imply in the time frame they imply. 


In other words, if you're 1) taking their advice and 2) doing your part (consistently showing up and following through), [especially during the 164 hours you're not at the gym] but not burning at least 12 pounds of fat per month, either you aren't doing your part or the trainer doesn't know what they are talking about. (When your nutrition and exercise are dialed in, fat melts off fast.)


Make sense? You have to get trained, but the training has to be quality as your supplements and whole food do also. You have to be a smart consumer. It's just not reasonable thinking that a person who got themselves fat living a fat lifestyle will be able to lead themselves to fit and lean without leadership and guidance. It's just not reality. Even I continue to consult with trainers, physical therapists, chiropractic, etc., in relation to my own health at this stage of the game.


Personal training is not an informal formality like getting your car washed. Trainers are suppose to get you started correctly so you develop your instincts based on correct action... so you know how to adjust your own course as you get closer to your goals or hit a plateau.

If your trainer doesn't hold themselves accountable to YOUR goals they aren't worth the $15 hour fast food workers are trying to earn. Absolutely the bottom line is, "Will your trainer teach you to get body composition below 20% without injuring yourself or compromising your health.?"

If they can't do that or they can't adjust the course if what they initially set as a path isn't working they aren't worth what they charge...just because they have you going through the motions doesn't mean you'll reach your goal! 


Activity does not equal success... specific activity equals success! 


Do it now, do it consistently!


"I see you succeeding."







Friday, November 7, 2014

#32: What's Your Real Why?



Reasons or
Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training


Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master


206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com


Special Report #32

Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series


What's Your Real "Why"?

So, in previous blurbs I've talked about what it really takes to get healthy, get lean once and for all and how to sustain / maintain it or even improve with time, regardless of your age.


Experienced personal trainers know which parts of applied nutrition and exercise really matter and are worthwhile (internal success factors), and which things are fads and bogus (environmental failure factors), in order to extract more and more money from the public who continue to not reach their goals, like low calorie diets, stimulant based supplements or even hormonal products like HcG, 

(There's a hell of a lot more money made from people losing fat, then regaining it and repeating than from people getting lean & healthy once and for all). The bean counters at gyms love it when people don't reach their goals! It's good fer business! 


The flip side of the "3-sided coin", if you will is that there is more money made from junk food (SADCRAP) and low quality supplements than high quality whole food and nutrient dense supplements (the billion dollar business of enabling the public to get and stay un-healthy). 


So we know that in recent history, there are manipulative outside influences which constantly bombard the public with messages that it's okay to eat SADCRAP "this one time" (you deserve goodies and comfort food), [knowing full well people get addicted to SADCRAP within a single serving] that you "should" love yourself how you are (permission to be less than your best) [not the same self love as honoring your spirit] as well as the message that being skinny is better (a mixed message designed to create confusion, guilt and negative self talk for which relief will come through consumption of comfort food -SADCRAP)...in other words, a perfectly engineered, chemical & emotional, mind & emotional f-over. (Misspell on purpose).


We know that the worse people feel about themselves the more sh*t-food they eat! And the worse they feel the more they eat but the less physical and emotional energy they have to exercise (so called depression & lack of motivation). And the more depressed people are the more they want "comfort" food...a downward spiral. 


Anytime someone wants to get on a healthier path to a lean & healthy lifestyle they are literally competing with thousands and thousands of hours of messages that have programmed the psyche for thoughts, behaviors and emotions which support a fat lifestyle (body composition of 20% or more)...but which is then referred to as "free will" and autonomy.


If you give a child sugar and they get digestive problems like I did, are they exercising free will? If that child grows into an adult with health problems are they  still exercising free will?

The point being whether or not someone knows what is happening, or what they are agreeing to...[informed consent].

Yes, I said "programmed". With thousands of hours of formal training in the application of clinical hypnosis I think I'm more than qualified to notice hypnotic programming. In America we call it capitalism. I'm all for capitalism... as long as it helps and contributes to something more than lining the pockets of the capitalists and their families at the expense of consumers.


But, as if those mixed messages weren't deep enough, throw in "You deserve to feel good in the moment," "You shouldn't have to go without," "You deserve a break today," "You can't eat just one," and /or "You don't want to miss out," "You're going to miss out on the real fun if you don't party on the weekends," and you have a recipe for health disaster unlike this nation has ever seen as a result of the side effects and complications of having too high percentage of body fat (20% or higher) [e.g. diabetes, heart dis-ease, insulin resistance, Syndrome-X, metabolic disorders, etc.]


So what's the point, Sov?


The point being that people start "weight loss" programs for many reasons they tell themselves and their friends and their trainers and so on... It's called rationalizing behaviors rooted in desire to appear healthy to others.


But until you get to your core "Why?" which underlies all the rationalizing of the behaviors that got you fat, your fat loss will neither be successful nor maintainable. Until you get to the "Why?" that feeds your spirit...the "Why?" that unleashes your spirit unto the world, all the junk food and unhealthy programming and accompanying malnutrition will always win and progress will be inconsistent to say the least followed by additional weight gain. 


Until you uncover your real "Why?" you'll be prone to finding every little reason why you shouldn't continue or why the exercise program interferes with your unfit lifestyle or why the supplements don't meet your expectations or why your trainer isn't doing enough for you or how much you're missing out on by being healthy or why you feel punished for not indulging in the fat lifestyle which makes you more and more fat and malnourished with each day that passes ...(all external reasons to procrastinate and not follow through / external arguments for external "Why's"). See the pattern? 


When you get to your core "Why?" you simply won't have any rationale for not following through! ...it's indisputable to your spirit! 


Here's some examples of superficial "Whys?" that never provide enough fuel to maintain success:


"So I can wear skinny clothes".


"For my kids."


"For health reasons."


"My doctor told me I have to."


See / hear the pattern? They are all good reasons in their own way. All good reasons that an amateur trainer might not dispute, but often disconnected from the person's spirit...a.k.a. disassociation... Junk food and lack of nutrition disassociates a person from their own values and sensibility of spirit!

The above examples are all related to external motivations / external "Whys". Either in the form of trying to please others, avoid a potential perceived loss, perceived peer pressure or from attempting to fabricate a personal motivation which lacks high integrity, spirit connected drive and will-power. 


Until one locks onto the "Why" which is connected to releasing their spirit every other motivation comes from the outside vs coming from within.


You see people succeed on many types of programs as long as they get the nutrition density and exercise parts correct...AS LONG AS THEIR SPIRIT IS PRESENT & INVESTED !!


The challenge or inherent conflict in beginning a honest, integrity-based lean lifestyle, seeing it through and maintaining the course regardless what life throws at you is that often "getting fat"comes from an unhealthy form of taking care of others whether they are your children, relatives, spouse or even strangers' feelings! 


Getting healthy, lean and staying that way is a kind of selfish act, but by doing so you're demonstrating to others how to get healthy themselves! Hmmmm, is there something to helping others by helping yourself? Oh, too deep Sov, stop! 


In other words, it's more cool to show people how to fish than to just give them a fish! Saying you aren't healthy because you're too busy taking care of others is an unhealthy kind of selfishness, since it demonstrates being unhealthy to those you say you care for the most!


Trainers who have been in the game long enough, especially the ones who overcome  their own superficial "Whys?" And gotten down to their real "Why?" recognize this paradox and know that the superficial reasons are enough for the client to "get started" but not enough to see it through and maintain it...yo-yo dieting.


The harsh reality is that in the 20+ years I've been doing this, I've noticed a pattern that it takes a good 3 months MINIMUM to begin to become conscious of your own real "Why?".

BUT, without solid nutrition density and an effective, focused exercise program, general "activity" results in either no fat loss, fat gain or even injury...they don't make it to that magical 3 month mark...and the beat goes on


Becoming conscious enough to recognize your spirit telling you the real reason why you want to get lean and healthy once and for all requires moving out of emotional based motivation habits (high nutrition density, less SADCRAP). 


HINT: How to know if its a genuine "Why?", is whether or not you follow through, stick to the plan and resist temptation to either skip your workouts or partake in SADCRAP for immediate satisfaction, yet compromising your primary goal. 


But for people who are so malnourished they are no longer able to comprehend the importance of nutrition density, the likelihood of success is slim to none (represented in the stats on diabetes, heart dis-ease, and all the popular de-generative dis-eases). 


Yes, I'm saying it's too late for people who won't simply do the nutrition and exercise fundamentals consistently enough to realize it on their own. That doesn't even take into account the children raised in homes where junk food is considered a "reward" and where problems with the body systems are showing up at younger and younger ages. Sad. I was one of those kids and had the digestive problems, allergies and constant colds and bugs to show for it. 


The point being that the first 3 months are critical in your program. You have to stick with a program (go on faith) long enough for your own body to respond to the nutrition and exercise. Once the benefits of increased strength, mental clarity, fat loss and definition kick in prioritizing nutrition and exercise become effortless... "The machine drives itself", but you have to get yourself to overcome the inertia that SADCRAP creates.


In reality, if you have a good exercise program based on burning fat and improving lean mass,as well as a solid nutritional plan, you should begin noticing positive changes within 3 days of beginning. (The longer it takes to notice visual improvement the further off track your exercise and nutrition program is.)


Oh yay, my "Whys?"... I wanted to move away from suffering with mediocre health (digestive problems, allergies, and being sick all the time), and move toward a fitness based lifestyle...I didn't want to end up where I had seen most of my family end up...I wanted to feel really good, clean and confident in my own skin. I was tired of feeling weak and self conscious.


For me, a big part of my success was switching from cheap supplements to ones that I actually notice getting healthier from (improved body composition and healthy blood chemistry) 


[Don't want to check those two thing? Never mind you aren't ready.] 


...digestive problems? They went away! Reducing SADCRAP? Of course! Learning about food? Of course! Learning about exercise vs activity? Of course! Discerning marketing hype and fads from science? Of course! Was it a fast process? No! Did I make consistent progress? YES! And you can too! 

A great first step is to get some good nutrition in your body:



I see you succeeding!







Thursday, October 30, 2014

#31: Right Use Of Energy: Part 1




Reasons or
Results! 
Fitness Nutrition Training


Sovereign Michael Valentine
SPN, CFT, Eft, Yft, Cft, SSc, GFI, CMCht, CERT, Reiki Master


206.225.9647
email: sovereignmv@gmail.com
web: bnbbs.myshaklee.com


Special Report #31

Part of the
“I see you to succeeding"
series


Right Use of Energy


Part I





Want to get more of what you want from YOUR life with less effort? 


This particular blurb has taken me over 40 years to put into words. I think it will be quite enlightening for those who have had the experience that what they want and wish for seems to be "just out of reach"...and always has


Now, have patience here, because some of the words to describe this come from different belief systems (Buddhism, Christianity, and other esoteric talk and even healing models). Not because I'm trying to recruit you into my local church, but because I don't have any other words yet to describe subtle but powerful phenomena we all experience.


In other words, from my earliest memories, (for a number of reasons you'll learn later) I could and would see phenomena and behaviorism and traits in myself and those around me, but when I would try to explain to those around me what I was seeing and hearing I'd get a, "Huh?"


Yet the people who said, "Huh?" would be experiencing those very phenomena and at a loss of how to circumvent their seeming sentence of poverty and unhappiness. 


But here's the thing, especially over the last couple decades of working directly with people who want to improve themselves...their health...their situation, etc. 


This is it in a "nutshell". (And again, I don't know everything.) I think as humble teachers we're often only one step ahead of our best students...and if we get out of the way, our students surpass us! But through teaching we learn more than we did in the beginning of teaching the topic, right? Teachers teach in order to learn. And the process continues. So if this helps, great. 


For lack of better terms, we have a certain amount of energy to use to get what we want from life, -a certain amount of energy for each day's goals and aspirations. 

  Ultimately there's no limit to what we can have, but we tend to unconsciously limit ourselves (for and because many reasons beyond Part I here). 


In my experience of observing so far, I have noticed a pattern that much of the habits we utilize to get what we want we're learned before we knew we were learning! (Ages approximately birth-7).


Now, to get to the punch-line quick, that means people who were raised and nurtured in a can-do, positive, success oriented, "you-can-do-it" culture find getting what they want easier since they experienced first-hand a model for it from the beginning of life...a culture of being at peace with "having & being". They were given love and energy without strings attached. They learn to receive energy from nature..not from attempting to derive it from others around them nor tricking others into giving it to them. 


We've all experienced the seemingly harmless people who seem to engage us in random chatter or topic yet leave us feeling tired and depleted... you know the ones. 

On the other hand, some people were raised in a familiar, conditional-love environment...a lineage if you will...where the components and skills of "having and getting" were missing. Maybe even mixed messages...(you can have whatever you want...but not too much). Or, "You can have whatever you want but not more than us."

Ultimately, confusion about our "role" or lack of clarity within our own life enables us to always be reaching yet the achievement seems to always be "in the future" (deficiency of personal energy).


SO, (one of) the common intrapersonal faux pas is when we learned to use our "energy" one way, but in order to get what we want another way...as if the two are separate. 


In other words, there may have been an imbalance or mixed message or even a misunderstanding within the self somewhere along the way  which led to the person feeling as though their energy was to be used for things other than the health and wellness of their own body, mind, spirit,...fulfillment. 


An example of this would be if we weren't given unconditional acceptance or nurturing by our immediate peers or care providers, but were then utilized to take responsibility for how our peers felt ...("their" state of emotional and mental awareness) (co-dependency). In other words, the natural laws are that parents provide care, love and nurturing and by receiving that, we have a model of the healthiness of nurturing offspring. The opposite or unnatural model would be the care providers not taking care of themselves...feeling depleted, defeated and depressed and then relying on their children for emotional energy (as an unnatural emotional "boost").


In other words, the child is using their energy attempting to make the parent feel better. BUT, in reality, it's not natural or healthy nor sustainable for a child to be nurturing their parent that way. The next step in the sequence is that whenever the parent "acts out" by demonstrating a less than optimal emotional state, or behaving disapproving of the child's inherent happiness, the child "gives" some of their energy to their parent in hopes of being loved in return (soothe the giant). A classic under-functioning / over-functioning pattern. In essence, the more the parent withholds love and attention from the child, the more energy the child gives to the parent ...ultimately creating a dynamic where the child gives more and more and the parent takes more and more, but the child ends up more and more depleted unable to manifest what they want and need in life...classic depletion.  The underlying (meta-message) is that it's the child's job to fix the parent... it's their role in the family (codependency)..their "job" if you will to soothe the parent, attending to their emotional needs. 


As time goes on, the child has less and less energy reserve and ends up depleted ...(one of the main underlying strategies in fatigue-based illness including obesity and food-based addiction.) [trying to feel full on the inside without consciousness of the unfair energy dynamic from the beginning of life]. 


This pattern is compounded by parents who withhold love and approval, suppress the child's expression and then substitute emotional presence with junk food rewards or simply too much food. 


Children who are raised in this dynamic unconsciously learn (way before they are conscious of what they have learned), that they should give all their energy away...but this unconscious habit precedes mistakenly thinking that they are supposed to find "other" people to give them energy.

We probably all have experienced being around people who we feel tired from (energy is being pulled without an agreement or healthy, mutual exchange). These scenarios inherently are referred to as energy vampires, energy suckers or time gremlins. 


Part of the reason being that some people never learned that 1) natural energy reserve comes from letting go the past, 2) being present, 3) letting go of stress and emotions rather than holding onto them, 4) receiving energy from nature itself and 5) ultimately that we can't fix people's feelings by pouring our energy into them...they have to do it themselves...

They have to take care of themselves from the inside out...it's a form of emotional and energetic hygiene. 


The body, mind and emotions works best when we:


1) Experience emotions to enhance each experience but we neither own emotions nor hold them to recycle them, nor suppress them (avoid playing victim or martyr role),


2) We receive energy through interaction with nature (being outside in nature some of the time),


3) We exchange positive energy and emotions with those who it's appropriate vs "pulling" energy from them without giving positive energy in return (presupposition that others are here to serve us, or that we are entitled to others' energy from having been used to serve our own loved ones and role models...misuse),


4) Regardless of whether an experience is positive or not, a) get through the experience and release it, b) take the lesson, c) forgive those who hurt us, (resentment and anger prisons deplete the life force of the person remembering the hurt, not the doer of the hurt), d) forgive ourselves for our unwitting participation, (beating up on self depletes energy and blocks new energy from coming in),  e) ask for forgiveness (disengage from energy sapping control habits),


5) Re-attach our goal onto what we consider goals in a bright future (look forward to a bright future) and


6) Demonstrate gratitude for the little blessings we have (attracts more of what we want and need to have healthy energy exchange). 


For those who were raised this way, they naturally avoid energy vampires and participate in relations that are energetically cooperative and mutual.  For those who learn it later in life, they notice feeling better with age as they gain energy naturally, get in relationships with natural energy boundaries and invest their energy in activities and work and hobbies and relations which build their own energy field rather than depleting it and injuring it, leaving it full of holes and vulnerabilities.

In other words, through self knowledge and paying attention, they interrupt the cycle of "taking energy" and expecting to feel good and healthy. 


You see "nature abhors a vacuum". If you let go of pains, forgive those who hurt you, forgive yourself for your participation (even if you were the victim), ask for forgiveness (no one is perfect) and demonstrate gratitude, you'll naturally dispose of negativity and attract healthy energy naturally for which will naturally be delegated to manifest what you want in your life.

Nature tends to fill the deficit left by letting go the past pain with healthy, vibrant health both physical, mental and emotional and even spiritual refreshment.


What this does is get our energy detached from feeding past hurts, (which are dead horses), negativity and negative people and reattaches it to natural, proper, appropriate energetic boundaries where there is a healthy exchange of energy versus the scenario of thinking that in order for others to love us, they have to give us / sacrifice their life force (there's plenty for everyone without taking it from others). 

Dysfunctional energy use creates a lineage of exhausted people who give their energy away faster than they can rejuvenate but they feel depleted, chronically unhappy and depressed and uninspired...always feeling like  they are outside the loop of their own life (often referred to as trolls or hobbits behind their back), yet self-declared as gods or goddesses: since they feel powerless, awkward in their own body, unnatural in social settings, they mistakenly conclude they are "above it all" and end up co-miserating with others who are mistakenly mis-using their energy field, denying it, avoiding the truth of the matter and simultaneously concluding they are a select group of higher learnings, when in reality they have created a social circle of like minded people who also suck energy in unnatural ways...black holes...yet engage unwitting participants in conversation designed to steal...yes, energy


Chronic health problems and being fat (body composition greater than 20%) are direct manifestation of giving more than you have (lack of self care) in attempt to get others to give energy to you for no reason. As long as energy is being given out without natural rejuvenation, excess calories will be consumed in attempt to fill the feeling of emptiness, yet lack of motivation and drive to exercise properly will prevail...body composition of 20% or more. 


Nutrition is one way to increase the natural energy reserve without the decades long learning curve. 



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Do it now, do it consistently! 



"I see you succeeding"